White Butterflies
by Charlottlette
Summary: Tatsuha Usegi had always idolized his Ryuuichi from afar, until Touma offered him the chance to spend the summer with his idol. Would his fantasties about the singer come true?
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer-Gravitation is not mine, not by any means!  
  
White Butterflies-by Charlottlette  
  
There was just something about Ryuuichi Sakuma that aroused him. It probably had something to do with that video, the one for their song White Butterflies. That was the one that all the music video stations refused to play, the one that was only avaible on copies of Nittle Grasper's live concert DVDs as a hidden feature.  
  
Even though it had been at least six years since he'd first heard the soft ballad, the video itself had definitely made it's imapct on him. It was as vivid now as it had been then, the angst ridden ballad about unrequited love.  
  
The video had started out with his honey Ryuuichi sitting at his keyboardists' instrument, dressed in a see through white mesh crop top and loose black silk pants. Tatsuha had always preferred his idol in much tighter clothing, but he wasn't about to complain.  
  
Ryuuichi's shoulder length shaggy brown hair framed his youthful face as he began to sing. Fondling his chest as he did so, his long fingers eased down across his flat stomach to fling the shirt over his head. Tatsuha's breath had caught the first time he had seen this, watching as Ryuuichi's hands went next to the waistband of his loose pants. Easing them down his narrow hips and long legs, Ryuuichi panted, leaning against the keyboard as the song entered it's first chorus.  
  
If that hadn't been enough, at that point, Touma Seguchi, his fellow bandmate's voice joined Ryuuichi's. The two singers' eyes locked and held as Ryuuichi arched towards the platinum haired musician to entice him. Touma smiled then and walked towards the object of Tatsuha's affection, taking in his dishelved state and the noticeable rise in his barely there white silk boxers.  
  
"Oh wow..." Tatsuha had breathed, as he watched the two men come together in a hungry embrace.  
  
Touma had quickly claimed the dark haired singer's mouth in a deep, sensual kiss, the two men melting into each other. Seeing this made Tatsuha's ache tighten to the point of being painful, and was only made worse when Touma cupped Ryuuichi's covered arousal with his hand. Ryuuichi gasped loudly as Touma loosed his firm grasp to invade beneath the material to touch him. Ryuuichi and Touma finished the song in unison, with Ryuuichi bemoaning the fates and allowing Touma to bring him to a swift completion off camera.  
  
Tatsuha had assumed that Touma had gotten something out of it too, even though he had stayed full clothed. It wasn't hard to believe that Touma would be the more aggressive one, and Tatsuha had often wished it had been him with Ryuuichi instead... 


	2. a job offer

Disclaimer-Gravitation does not belong to me.  
  
Tatsuha considered Ryuuichi to be his first sexual experience, since he had not yet been with anyone the first time that video had made him take matters into his own hands, so to speak.  
  
He had even found a kindred spirit who loved Ryuuichi as much as he did. It had been in the form of Bad Luck vocalist Shuichi Shindou, his brother Yuki's ex-lover. The redheaded singer idolized Ryuuichi to the point that he had made himself into Ryuuichi's very image almost.  
  
He had been stunned the first time he had met Shuichi, and had wanted to claim the petite vocalist for his own. The brief kiss they had shared out of his own pent up frustration had been bittersweet, a reminder of the unattainable. After that, he and Shuichi had become good friends.  
  
He still considered Shuichi to be one of his closest friends, even if he and Yuki weren't together anymore. They had decided to end their relationship a year before when Shuichi had chosen the affection of his lifelong best friend Hiro over the sometimes stormy love of his lover Yuki. Although he knew Shuichi still cared very much for the blonde. their relationship had been a hardship for both of them and even Yuki knew that Shuichi's childhood best friend had been the better choice.  
  
It had been a year since his brother Yuki had settled in Tokyo in that big empty house of his, content to spend his days concentrating on his writing. As for himself, now that he was on the verge of becoming eighteen, and getting as their father would say, "as stubborn as both your brother Yuki and sister Mika combined" Tatsuha had decided he needed a break from being a monk at their family's temple, opting to spend the long, hot summer at his brother Yuki's house. The always cool, serious Yuki had been less than thrilled at his raven haired brother's insistance on staying, but relented in the sake of keeping peace in the family.  
  
Tatsuha suspected it also had something to do with his best friend Touma's encouragement. Touma Seguchi, the keyboardist for Nittle Grasper, had been friends with Yuki since they had been children and very rarely did Yuki refuse him anything, considering that Touma was also his brother-in-law.  
  
It was no secret, not even to Mika, that Touma loved Yuki as more than a friend and Yuki the complete opposite. Yuki did care for Touma, but not like he had for Shuichi. Touma had accepted that over the years, willing to accept whatever Yuki had to give.  
  
Tatsuha could certainly understand that. He knew he would feel the same if he ever got the chance to be close to his Ryuuichi. He envied his brother, Shuichi and even Touma for their closeness to Ryuuichi, knowing until a year before he had been too far away in Kyoto and too young to be with the older man. He knew Ryuuichi was somewhere in his thirties, but he didn't care. He would still love the man if he were in a wheelchair!  
  
Yuki had met Ryuuichi before in passing, barely acknowledging him out of general disinterest. Shuichi had gotten to know him much better, since Ryuuichi claimed to be Shuichi's and Bad Luck's biggest fan. He coveted the redheaded vocalist because of his hero worship and because he was someone he could hang out with and sing onstage with. And Touma...well, it was obvious that he and Ryuuichi had once been a couple, even if they weren't now.  
  
The last he had heard, Nittle Grasper and Bad Luck were in negotations to tour together in the fall. It was something that the two lead singers had wanted and he had no doubt that it would happen. He had gotten used to Touma Seguchi's presense in Yuki's home during the process, and especially the day that he had been deeply engrossed in his latest copy of Nittle Grasper videos while his brother was working in his office.  
  
"I think you may know our songs better than we do, Tatsuha." Touma laughed softly as he walked into the living room, cellphone in hand.  
  
Before he could respond, Touma resumed the call he had been on, having been on hold moments before. "Look, K, I appreciate the fact that you left a lucrative positition as Sakuma-san's manager in the states to help out Bad Luck, but really! Ryuuichi is still your responsability until his contact is over with you. Yes, I'm sure Shuichi-san would be thrilled to babysit his idol until we work out a deal, but you know how Ryuuichi is about being recognized in public. The two of them together would just be a diaster in the making. I'd think you'd be able to find someone to put up with Ryuuichi's demands. All I need is for someone to keep an eye on him for the summer, someone I can trust to make sure he shows up for band meetings and recording sessions, as well as personal appearances..." Touma began.  
  
Yuki walked into the room to grab himself a drink, cocking an eyebrow out of mild interest that Touma had stopped talking for a moment and was staring thoughtfully at his dark haired bother on the floor.  
  
"Yes, yes. I'm still here. What? No, I was just thinking for a moment. Let me call you back, okay?" Touma asked.  
  
Returing form the kitchen, Yuki leaned against the living room wall as he lit himself a cigerette.  
  
"I can't wait to hear exactly what you were thinking about just now." he said.  
  
Touma smiled at him. "Cynical as always, Eiri-san, but this...I think just might be a good idea." he said.  
  
Tatsuha turned to face the pair, pausing his DVD as he did so. "Okay. I don't mind being the center of attention, but I have a feeling this has something to do with me." he said.  
  
Touma smiled again. "As a matter of fact, it has. Since I'm under the assumption that you'll pretty much be mooching off your brother Eiri-san for the summer, I thought I might have an offer that might interest you." he said.  
  
"Really? I'm interested. What do you need me to do?" Tatsuha asked.  
  
"I'd like to hire you as a bodyquard." Touma said.  
  
"A bodyquard?" Tatsuha asked.  
  
"Yes. There will other duties too, of course, like escorting my client to various places, making sure they show up for events, whenever and wherever they are needed, and to keep them entertained. I want you to be Ryuuichi Sakuma's bodyquard for the summer." Touma said.  
  
Yuki braced himself for Tatsuha's euthastatic response, only to find him staring up at Touma with widened eyes, his hands clamped over his mouth out of shocked surprise. Moments later, Touma reeled with a nervous laugh as Tatsuha launched himself at the blonde musician.  
  
"Mr. Seguchi! Are you serious?! This would be like a dream come true for me! Of course I'll accept!" Tatsuha shouted.  
  
"Please call me Touma. This is of course is depending on Ryuuichi's consent too, but I'm sure that won't be a problem. So consider this pretty much a done deal." Touma said.  
  
"Wow! This is so great! Thank you, Touma, for giving me this chance to get to know Ryuuichi better. I won't let you down." Tatsuha said.  
  
Touma laughed. "I trust you completely, Tatsuha. No one from your family has ever let me down. Eiri-san, I'll contact you when I finalize everything and work out the details with you since you're his guardian for the summer." Touma said.  
  
"Lucky me. As if I don't hear enough about your obnoxious lead singer to begin with." Yuki complained.  
  
Touma shrugged off his best friend's comment as he always did, leaving his brothers alone with a jaunty wave goodbye. Yuki snorted and headed back to his office.  
  
"Think all you want about this deal with you and Ryuuichi, as long as you do it quietly. I'm going to bed." Yuki told him.  
  
Although it was normal for Yuki to be more standoffish the closer it got to his deadline, his cold, tempermental brother seemed even grouchier than usual today. He wondered sometimes if it had anything to do with the leftover emotions he hadn't dealt with from his failed relationship with Shuichi.  
  
Yuki had barely spoken about his trip to the states to make peace with his past, after which he had bought the house, only to find that the young singer had chosen someone else. Yuki had always seemed happy for Shuichi and his best friend Hiro, and never had a harsh word to say about either of them.  
  
Despite what everyone thought, Tatsuha actually worried about his brother's welfare and he hoped that, if and when he himself got involved in a serious relationship, he would be able to handle all that came along with it.  
  
Having come out when he was only thirteen, Tatsuha had caught up with the younger gerneration's habit of disappointing their parents, Mika for marrying a musician, Yuki for abandoning the temple, and now Tatsuha for taking several lovers while studying as a monk.  
  
Tatsuha found that he rather enjoyed the dual lifestyle, having the skills to run the temple and it's ceremonies as well as his family, and being able to enjoy his free time searching for his soulmate at the same time.  
  
Although he preferred the company of men over women, Tatsuha had made it a point not to pass on a pretty face and he had never regretted any time he had spent in pursuit of companionship.  
  
Somehow though, despit the fact that he had made many good friends and some repeat customers, he had never really connected with any of them. He was sure it had something to do with his obsession over Ryuuichi.  
  
It was okay to have high standards. Mika had had them when she had gone after Yuki's best friend Touma and when Yuki had risked his writing career to accept Shuichi's love a year before. Tatsuha knew though that it was unfair to expect anyone to be as perfect as his honey Ryuuichi.  
  
Discovering his affection for his idol at thirteen, his comfort in adoring Ryuuichi had allowed him to be comfortable in loving either a man or a woman and he probably would never love anyone like he did his idol. Perhaps it was a unhealthy obsession, but thoughts of the Nittle Grasper vocalist comforted him when he was alone and gave him a reason to keep searching.  
  
He had been awestruck when he had met Shuichi and would have gladly added him to his list of interests if the teen hadn't been with his brother. Shaking himself out of his daydreams, Tatsuha found he preferred the welcoming sounds of Nittle Grasper over the cold silence of Yuki's home and he resumed watching the DVD, silently occuping his mind with thoughts of Ryuuichi. 


	3. costumes?

Disclaimer-Graviatation is not mine. Author's Note-Thank you to all my reviewers! Yes, I'll admit that my writing style is very unique but I hope you will still enjoy it! Thanks again!  
  
"What do you mean he went down the hall to get it himself?! That's supposed to be your job!" Noriko shouted at hotel security.  
  
The uniformed guards tried to remain calm despite the fact that they were flustered and exhausted from their duty of watching over the stubborn dark haired vocalist Ryuuichi Sakuma. Although they had been thrilled at first to acquire such a high profile client, Ryuuichi's childish demands at all hours of the day and night had caused them to lose most of their patience.  
  
They had to keep in mind that Ryuuichi resented having to be cooped up in his hotel room, unable to roam freely because of his celebrity. He had an assortment of costumes for whenever he wanted to go out, but those times were few and far between. Very rarely did he venture in public without one of his costumes, but there was no evidence that he had changed into one to fetch himself some spring water from the dispense in the hotel lobby.  
  
"We tried to stop him. Honestly, we did. You know how determained Mr. Sakuma can be when he wants something." one of the guards said.  
  
"Did somebody say my name?" a voice asked.  
  
Noriko angerily lunged towards her bandmate, grabbing a handful of his jacket in her hands. "What the hell is wrong with you? You're not supposed to just take off like that! What were you thinking?" she asked Ryuuichi.  
  
"I'm sorry about that, Noriko-chan. I was just craving some fresh cold spring water. It felt great to get out for a few minutes and stretch. I met the nicest young fans downstairs who helped me find the lobby and everything." Ryuuichi said.  
  
Noriko sighed. "Well, I'm glad you enjoyed yourself, but I wish you would have let secruity do that for you. At least you won't be late for your meeting with Touma now." she said.  
  
Ryuuichi's eyes widened. "Seguchi-san's coming just to see me? I didn't know we had to have meetings for that." he commented.  
  
"Of course we do. You know that Touma is a very busy man nowadays. We're just fortunate that he decided to go along with this whim of yours to get the band back together." she told him.  
  
"I've had no regrets since either. I never intended for Nittle Grasper to be disbanded forever." Touma said, walking into the room.  
  
"Hello Touma." Noriko said.  
  
"Hi, Seguchi-san!" Ryuuichi said cheerfully.  
  
Touma waved a gloved hand at the two officers. "The two of you may leave now. I'll call for you when you are needed." he said.  
  
"Yes sir, Mr. Seguchi." they said in unison.  
  
"Hello Noriko, Ryuuichi. It's nice to see the two of you as always. I've come today to let you know, Ryuuichi, that I've done some thinking about what you asked me about the other day. Why don't you and I speak privately?" Touma asked him.  
  
"If that's okay with Noriko-chan." Ryuuichi said, taking a swallow of his water.  
  
"It's fine with me." Noriko said.  
  
Touma threw his arm across Ryuuichi's shoulders. "Good. We won't be long." Touma said with a smile.  
  
Touma led his bandmate into his private room, where Ryuuichi quickly claimed a nearby chair as his own, wrapping the chenille throw on the back around his shoulders.  
  
"Do you remember a young man named Tatsuha Usegi?" Touma asked him.  
  
"Um, let's see...the name sounds familiar. Is he a relation of yours or one of my fans?" he asked.  
  
Touma laughed. "Actually, he's both. Tatsuha's my brother-in-law, Eiri and Mika's younger brother. He's one of your most dedicated fans, Sakuma-san. when you and I talked before about finding you a personal bodyguard, I thought I might offer the job to him. Since he's family, I have no doubts about trusting him and I'm pretty sure he will be more than willing to give in to any of your many needs unlike some of your previous guards." Touma asked.  
  
"He's okay with wearing the costumes?" Ryuuichi asked.  
  
"Well, I haven't told him about that yet, but I told him that accepting him as such would be up to you." Touma said.  
  
"Well, I guess that'll be okay if you trust him. So tell me, what does he look like?" Ryuuichi asked.  
  
"Well, he's about six feet tall, with shaggy black hair and dark eyes. He kinda looks like a dark haired Yuki if he were younger. I think this will work out perfectly. You'll finally be able to go out and enjoy yourself with someone who will appreciate your company." Touma said.  
  
Ryuuichi nodded. "I'm glad. All of these rental cops were starting to suffocate me." he said.  
  
Touma nodded, understanding completely. After everything the two fo them had been through over the years, he fiqured he owed Ryuuichi this, a small taste of freedom along with fullfilling a young teens' wish to be close to his idol.  
  
"Thank you, Touma. It means a lot that you did this." Ryuuichi said.  
  
Touma smiled. "You're welcome, Sakuma-san." he said.  
  
He thought the night would never end. Tatsuh agrunted as he tossed and turned in bed, reaching out to catch the time on his bedside clock. It was almost three a.m. and in less than seven hours he would be meeting Ryuuichi Sakuma pretty much for the first time.  
  
He and his idol had actually met a few times before, but never long enough to consider it a true meeting and he knew he would have to rein himself in around the singer so he wouldn't be uncomfortable. He wondered just how well they would get to know each other over the summer, if it was even possible that his fantasties about Ryuuichi would come true.  
  
He was in love with the man, just like Shuichi had been, the reason they had both come out. As far as he was concerned, his affection for Ryuuichi went beyond hero worship. He sincerely loved the man with all of his heart and perhaps this was fate's way of finally bringing them together.  
  
To be close to his idol, it was worth it to him to have to carry a cellphone at all times in case Ryuuichi was needed while out on an outing. He wouldn't even mind late night trip to the convience store or joyrides on his motorcycle as long as they were together. Tatsuha sighed as he forced himself to fall asleep, knowing doing so would make the fateful moment come sooner...  
  
"I have to wear..this?" Tatsuha asked, as he dangled the dark purple teddy bear costume from his hands.  
  
Noriko frowned at him, crossing her arms in front of her. "Is that a problem?" she asked.  
  
Tatsuha laughed nervously, scraching the back of his head. "Of course not! I'm just glad I don't have to wear the one Ryuuichi's going to wear, that pink fuzzy bunny one." he said.  
  
"Actually, Ryuuichi picked out both of those personally. It's like he has a costume fetish or something." Noriko laughed.  
  
Their heads turned as Touma walked into the room, followed by Ryuuichi, who was clutching his stuffed bunny Kumagoro as always. Tatsuha swallowed hard at what his idol was wearing, a black ensemble consisting of a black midriff top, black leather pants and black leather jacket. The scent of honeysuckle and musk wafted over his senses, a sweet, flowery that was enticely male.  
  
"Oh good, you made it in time. Let me introduce the two of you. Tatsuha Usegi, this is Ryuuichi Sakuma. Ryuuichi, this is my brother-in-law Tatsuha." Touma said.  
  
"You don't look anything like your brother Yuki. You're much more handsome than I thought you would be." Ryuuichi said.  
  
Tatsuha blushed furiously. "Um...thank you. It's nice to meet you too, Mr. Sakuma." he said.  
  
"Call me Ryuuichi. I mean, we should get to know each other pretty well since we'll be spending so much time together, right? I promise not to be too demanding if you can try to be patient with me. I have a tendency to get under secruity's skin." Ryuuichi said.  
  
"I'm prepared for whatever you want or need me to do." Tatsuha said.  
  
Ryuuichi smiled. "Good. You can start by helping me off with this jacket, if you don't mind." he said.  
  
Tatsuha stifled his hard exhale as he helped ease the jacket from his idol's shoulders, easing his arms from the sleeves. He couldn't help but notice the taunt muscles of Ryuuichi's flat stomach exposed by the skimpy top. He loved that Ryuuichi was comfortable flaunting his body, but Tatsuha was afraid continued exposure to such temptation would cause him to show skin of his own against his will. So lost in those thoughts, he hadn't even noticed that Ryuuichi had put on the bunny costume.  
  
"Do you need help with yours?" he asked Tatsuha.  
  
Unable to find his voice to answer, Tatsuha stared at Ryuuichi in the costume, finding that he was more drawn to him than ever. He looked so damn cute as a fluffy pink bunny, with his hair sticking out the front and his face obscured by a matching plastic nose and whiskers.  
  
It took Ryuuichi's innocence factor that he possessed and raised it several levels, his dark eyes childlike as he helped Tatsuha step into the legs of the bear costume and drew the rest across his chest and shoulders. This snapped Tatsuha out of his thoughts again, as his eyes met Ryuuichi's and held as he allowed the older man to finish dressing him. Ryuuichi brushed the nosepiece into place and beeped his bodyguard's nose playfully.  
  
"All done." Ryuuichi said.  
  
Tatsuha exhaled with a soft sigh as Ryuuichi smiled at him, stepping back to take a look at both of them.  
  
"Looks like you're ready to go to the zoo. Have fun and relax today, Sakuma- san." Touma said.  
  
"I'm sure Tatsuha and I will have a great time." Ryuuichi said confidently. 


	4. an unexpected kiss

Disclaimer-Gravitation is not mine. Author's Note-Let me just take this time to say that OMG Tatsuha and Ryuuichi are just 2 cute 4 words! Ok, I feel better now, thank you! I do claim the song White Butterflies as my own. Mine, mine, mine! On with the story!  
  
Before Tatsuha could respond, Ryuuichi took his hand with a laugh, racing out of the hotel room to the elevators. Getting into the elevator, Ryuuichi laughed and swept his hand against the button panel, lighting up every floor.  
  
"What did you do that for? Don't you have a car waiting for us?" Tatsuha asked.  
  
"They're at my beck and command, so they're not going anywhere. I don't know why I did that to be honest. I've just had cabin fever lately. This is the most fun I've had in awhile." Ryuuichi said.  
  
Tatsuha smiled as he leaned against the wall of the elevator, gasping when Ryuuichi walked up close to him, close enough to feel his breath on his face.  
  
"Actually, I've always had fantasties about doing it in an elevator with someone...have you ever done that, Tatsuha?" Ryuuichi asked.  
  
"No, I haven't done that." he told him.  
  
Ryuuichi smiled and embraced the teen tightly. "Then you've been as sheltered as I have. I know! Let's make a promise right now, you and I, that we're going to make this an unforgettable summer for both of us." he said.  
  
Tatsuha embraced him back, his arms around his idol's waist loosely. "I can promise that." he agreed.  
  
Ryuuichi parted from him slightly, staring deep into his eyes for a moment. "I meant what I said before. You really are very handsome for such a young man, almost striking." he told him.  
  
Tatsuha blushed furiously. "Thanks." he said.  
  
Ryuuichi grinned at him. "You're cute when you blush. Maybe we should pretend to make out if someone gets on to see if they would freak out. It wouldn't be the first time I'd kissed a guy." Ryuuichi said.  
  
"I know. I saw those videos of you and Touma together." Tatsuha said.  
  
Tatsuha immediately regretted his words as he saw the singer's face change for a moment.  
  
"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. That's none of my business. What I should have said was that I've done that too." Tatsuha said, blushing again.  
  
Ryuuichi laughed. "I can already tell that we're going to have fun together. Not once has any of the guys that have been my bodyguards ever not cringed when I would suggest such things. It's kinda my way to see how uninhibited someone is." Ryyuichi said.  
  
"Well, I meant what I said too, about keeping that promise, Ryuuichi." Tatsuha said.  
  
The two men shared a smile between them as the elevator lurched, signaling that they had finally gotten to the first floor. Ryuuichi laughed and grabbed his new friend's hand again, ignoring the confused glances from onlookers as the two cosplayers rushed towards their waiting car outside.  
  
"Good afternoon, Mr. Sakuma." the driver said.  
  
"Good afternoon, Reynolds. Please do not leave just yet. My young friend and I would like to take a moment to get a drink before we leave. Excuse us." Ryuuichi said.  
  
Ryuuichi grinned as he raised the privacy screen between them. "Well, go ahead and grab whatever you like from the cooler in the back. My driver always keeps it stocked for me." he told Tatsuha.  
  
Tatsuha nodded, plunging his hand into the slightly melted ice to retrieve a bottle of soda as Ryuuichi leaned back into the car seat with a sigh. He watched Tatsuha thoughtfully for a moment.  
  
"Hey, I think I remember Touma mentioning something about you having a motorcycle. That would be an interesting change of pace if you wouldn't mind taking me there on it with you." Ryuuichi said.  
  
Tatsuha smiled. "That would be great. Any excuse to cruise on my motorcycle is fine with me. Have you ever ridden one before?" he asked.  
  
"No, but I'm willing to learn." Ryuuichi laughed.  
  
Wasn't this how one of his many famtasties about Ryuuichi started, the one involving the two of them and his motorcycle, Tatsuha wondered. That fantasy often involved the two of them riding off into the sunset together, with Ryuuichi's arms around Tatsuha's waist tightly as he drove. The scent of his idol, that intoxicating honeysuckle and musk, drove him insane with desire befor ehe had to drive into a secluded area of the woods and have his way with the very willing vocalist.  
  
His fantasties had never done Ryuuichi justice, wven with the pink rabbit costume on. Ryuuichi was just too sexy and desireable for words, especially when he smiled up at his escort with his dark eyes. Apolgizing to his driver for not having him drive them, Ryuuichi followed Tatsuha to where he had parked his bike.  
  
Climbing on, Tatsuha lent hi shand to the uncertain vocalist, who relented and joined him, sitting behind the teen on the seat. there was omething so right about the feeling of Ryuuichi huddling up against him, the warmth of his furry pink arms like heaven around his nervous stomach.  
  
Willing himself out of his nervousness, he heard Ryuuichi let out am excited, slightly frightened yelp as he stepped on the gas and rode off into traffic. It was almost a shame that this moment would eventually have to end, the rush of riding free in the wind with the sweet reminder of his idol's body plastered behind him.  
  
Through Ryuuichi, he easily recalled his first experiences riding a motorcycle, how it felt like he could lose his life at any given moment and would be willing to accept the risk to call the experience his own. He could feel Ryuuichi's embrace tighten and loosen depending on the contours of the road beneath them, and they were both somehow relieved when they finally reached the entrance of the zoo.  
  
As Tatsuha parked the motorcycle and the pair stepped off onto the ground, it was hard not to notice the stares of curious parents and their excited children who thought the two costumed men were part of the zoo's attraction.  
  
"At least they don't know it's me. Then we would really get mobbed." Ryuuichi said, waving happily to his scattered audience.  
  
Tatsuha laughed, happy that Ryuuichi was happy, walking alongside him as he presented their tickets to the zoo attendent. Thankful that she didn't recognize him either, Tatsuha found himself laughing out loud as he raced to catch up with Ryuuichi, who had charged through the crowds to find the first exhibit.  
  
Finding an eleborate lemur habitat, Ryuuichi shrieked with happiness, leaning across the gates for a closer look. He initated the lemur's large eyes by expanding his own with his fingers at Tatsuha, who was shooing away children who wanted to squeeze his idol's puffy white cottontail.  
  
"I wish I could feed them or play with them in the trees. That would be fun." Ryuuichi sighed.  
  
He smiled at his escort as the two of them walked into the reserve, an area where they had tried to simulate each creature's natural enviroment. They looked at zebras, kangeroos, gorillas, tigers and even got licked on the face by an affectionate giraffe. Ryuuichi was awestruck by the sheer size of the elephants and by how long the hippo could hold it's breath underwater.  
  
Tatsuha sighed, slightly tired from his efforts to keep up with Ryuuichi's energy level, but definitely not complaining. The only things that really bothered him was how hot it was beneath their chosen costumes and how he wanted to take a break to get some food and maybe something to drink. Touma had given him more than enough to buy whatever they wanted, not wanting them to depend on servants to draw attention to themselves.  
  
"Hey Ryuuichi." Tatsuha whispered so no one else could hear.  
  
"Yeah? What's up?" he answered.  
  
"Do you want to grab something to eat or drink? We should get something to last us while we're here." Tatsuha said.  
  
"Actually. I am a little thirsty and kinda hungry too. Let's try their natural foods snack bar I saw by the entrance." Ryuuichi said.  
  
He'd nearly forgotten that Ryuuichi was into health food, thinking only about the fact that they were together. If this is a dream, I hope I never wake up, he thought. If this was an experience that Ryuuichi would remember long after their summer together was over, that alone would make being there with him worth it.  
  
Not surprisingly, there was a crowd of children waiting for them as they entered the building, and they soon found out why. Although a few captured Ryuuichi's attention, getting him to kneel down so they could get hugs from him and pull his ears, most were gathered around a massive do-it-yourself trail mix bar.  
  
"Oh wow! Look at that! What a great idea! Come on Tatsuah, let's get in line." Ryuuichi told him.  
  
Bribing their way to the front of the line by offering to assist others in their choices, the two cosplayers walked out with a hefty bag of their own making and a bag of freshly popped buttery popcorn for Tatsuha. Buying them some warm canned coffees out of a vending machine, Ryuuichi joined Tatsuha on a shaded bench outside, onlooking an interactive water fountain.  
  
"It would be fun to do that if I wasn't afraid to get my costume wet or your cellphone. It was fun making my own trail mix. I got more dried fruits than I would normally get. Your popcorn smells good too." Ryuuichi jabbered on nonstop.  
  
Tatsuha smiled. "It's a little greasy, but I like it that way. I hope you've had a nice time today, Ryuuichi." he said.  
  
"Oh yes! Definitely! I couldn't have asked for a better companion either. I'm surprised that you could keep up with me. I tend to get overexcited." Ryuuichi said.  
  
"It doens't bother me at all. I've waited alomst six years to be here with you, Ryuuichi. I never imagined I'd ever have this chance." Tatsuha said.  
  
Tatsuha almost regretted his confession until Ryuuichi stared quietly at him for a moment, his face breaking out into a smile.  
  
"You know, the only way you really remind me of your brother is how tall you are, Tatsuha. I've never been taller than five foot seven, so I envy your extra height. Your sister is tall too. You all are so lucky." Ryuuichi sighed.  
  
"I think you're wonderful just the way you are, Ryuuichi." Tatsuha said.  
  
Staring up into his escort's eyes, Ryuuichi reached up to playfully pull on his fuzzy purple ears. Tatsuha froze, finding that he could not look away from his idol. As if time stood still, Tatsuha closed the space between them and captured the singer's mouth with his in a soft, tender kiss. His eyes widened as he parted from him, startled by his own actions.  
  
"Ryuuichi, I'm sorry...I didn't mean..." he began.  
  
The dark haired vocalist silenced him with a kiss of his own, coaxing the teen to respond as he deepened the kiss between them. Their arms came around to rest around each other as Ryuuichi allowed Tatsuha to kiss him senseless by stroking his own tongue against the teen's. The pair groaned slightly as they parted, staring at each other breathlessly as Tatsuha's cellphone rang.  
  
"Hello?" he asked.  
  
"You sound out of breath. Have you been running? Oh well, it's not important now. Are you and Ryuuichi still at the zoo?" Touma asked him.  
  
Tatsuha smiled over at Ryuuichi, who was in the middle of the fountain, trying to avoid the water. "Yeah. Is something wrong?" Tatsuha asked.  
  
Touma sighed, brushing his hand through his shaggy platinum blonde hair. "Well, it's my fault, to be honest. I've been so busy lately, I haven't been able to keep up with Ryuuichi's hectic schedule. Here's the deal. He's supposed to appear as the main guest on the variety show Music Parade tonight and he needs to be at the studio in twenty minutes. Is that a problem?" Touma asked.  
  
Tatsuha thought about it for a moment. "I know where that is. I think I can make it in fifteen. You can count on me." he said.  
  
"Great. Thanks." Touma said, hanging up.  
  
Stepping into the fountain to retrieve his companion, Ryuuichi threw himself into Tatsuha's arms. Returnign his soggy embrace, Tatsuha informed him of the emergency at hand. His expression growing serious, the pair walked out to where they had parked the motorcycle, the motor roaring beneath them as they took off.  
  
With Ryuuichi's concentration on getting ot the studio, Tatsuha found he had very little time to think about what had happened between them, the feeling of Ryuuichi's soft lips against his a reality that might not last... 


	5. elevator fantasties

Disclaimer-Gravitation does not belong to me.  
  
"You can't be serious?! You expect me to go on in Ryuuichi's place? I can't do that!" Shuichi shouted at the producers of Music Parade.  
  
Having shown up at the television studio to provide moral support for their friend, best friends Hiroshi and Shuichi of Bad Luck hadn't expected that Mr. K and Touma would want them to step in for Ryuuichi if he didn't make it in time.  
  
"It's not a big deal, Shindou-san." Hiro said with a smile.  
  
"Not a big deal? Hiro, how can you say that? I can't do this!" Shuichi exclaimed.  
  
More than a year had passed since the release of Bad Luck's first CD and Touma had hoped that time would have matured the redheaded singer. His childish behavior didn't seem to bother his best friend Hiro though, their bond stronger than ever due to their romantic attachment. Slinging his guitar over his shoulder, Hiro smiled as he put his arm around Shuichi's waist.  
  
"Come on, Shindou-san. We can do this, no problem." Hiro said.  
  
Staring into his trusted friend's eyes, Shuichi nodded in agreement as they took the stage during a commercial break. There were a few murmurs through the crowd from various studio audience members, surprised to see two of the members of Bad Luck preparing to perform.  
  
The teen girls in the audience that were fans of both Nittle Grasper and Bad Luck swooned, seeing the two best friends together onstage. They whispered amongst themselves watching the two bandmates' eyes meet with a smile between them.  
  
"And we're back! We're sorry to have to announce that Mr. Ryuuichi Sakuma of Nittle Grasper will not be able to join us tonight, but as a favor to all our Music Parade fans, we're proud to welcome Hiroshi Nakano and Shuichi Shindou of Bad Luck with their rendition of Nittle Grasper's White Butterflies." the announcer said to loud applause.  
  
Even backstage, the sound of the audience's applause was noticeable to the dark haired teen trying his best to dodge onlookers on his motorcycle. Ryuuichi had insisted that Tatsuha drive all the way through the television studio lot to the set of Music Parade, startling pedestrians and staff members inside the building itself.  
  
Ryuuichi didn't even notice how surprised people were to see a running motorcycle indoors because his attention was riveted by the sound of Shuichi's voice. Tatsuha couldn't help but notice it either, the strains of Hiro's melodious guitar adding the perfect flavor to Shuichi's softly sang lyrics.  
  
"Shuichi...he's singing my song...is he onstage?" Ryuuichi wondered aloud.  
  
The heavy steel motorcycle barged through a barricaded door just above the stage, the two men staring down at the ones that had taken Ryuuichi's place onstage.  
  
"Oh wow...I've never heard anyone sing my song so perfectly before." Ryuuichi sighed happily.  
  
Even Tatsuha had to admit that as usual, his brother's ex-lover had risen to the occassion, his face betraying all the emotions of the lyrics as he made the song his own and everyone else's. As happy as Ryuuichi seemed to be to hear his song sang so well, he was quckly stripping off his damp bunny costume, clad only in his leather pants and an unbuttoned black shirt handed to him by one of the show's assistants.  
  
"What are you doing, Ryuuichi?" he asked him.  
  
The older man smiled at his nodyguard before launching himself to Tatsuha's shock off the side of the railing to the stage below. He had timed his appearance perfectly during the song's guitar solo, smiling at his friend who had done such incredible justice to his song.  
  
"Ladies and gentlemen, Ryuuichi Sakuma!" Shucihi shouted, as he thrust the microphone towards his idol.  
  
Hiro's eyes widened with surprise as Ryuuichi smiled, inviting him to finish the song together. This allowed Tatsuha to lose himself completely in the song, their voices blending perfectly like it was meant to be. Tatsuha felt like he was right beside his idol as the two vocalists ended the song, soaking up their loud applause.  
  
Returning to Ryuuichi's side as he finally mad ehis way backstage, Tatsuha found that it felt very strange being in the company of Shuichi and Hiro, given the young singer's history with his brother. Mr. K and Touma were the first to greet them.  
  
"Nice to see you again, Ryuuichi. You're Yuki Eiri's brother, right?" Mr. K asked.  
  
"He's pratically family, K, you should know that by now. Thanks for getting here so quickly. It wasn't intentional that Shindou-san was able to fill your spot, Ryuuichi, although your duet...that was just inspired." Touma said.  
  
"I was honored that the producers of the show allowed me to sing your most memorable ballad, Ryuuichi." Shuichi said.  
  
"There was no way I could refuse to sing alongside you, Shindou-san. I'm the one that's honored." Ryuuichi told him.  
  
Hiro smiled at Tatsuha. 'Tatsuha! Hey, we haven't seen you since that whole incident with Ayaka. How is your brother?" he asked.  
  
"Moody as always, absorbed in his writing. I left the temple to spend the summer with him when Touma offered me the job of Ryuuichi's bodyguard for the next couple months." Tatsuha said.  
  
"Lucky!" Shuichi exclaimed. He grabbe dthe teens' arm to pull him aside so he could whisper in his ear. "Wow. Tatsuha. This must be like a dream come true for you. I jnow how much you're in love with Ryuuichi." he giggled.  
  
"Your relationship with Hiro doesn't so bumpy either." Tatsuha teased him.  
  
Shucihi sighed dreamily. "Your brother will always have a place in my heart, but I have no regrets over choosing to be with my best friend. I just hope that you can see me as a friend, Tatsuha." Shuichi said.  
  
Tatsuha smiled. "Of course! You and I are kindred spirits after all, right?" he asked him.  
  
Tatsuha's eyes widened as Ryuuichi launched himself into Shuichi's arms. "Oh Shindou-san, your voice just sounded amazing out there! We just have to duet more often! I'll be sure to set it up so we have lots of duets during our fall tour, once the negotations are finalized." Ryuuichi said.  
  
Shuichi laughed. "I'd like that too, Ryuuichi." he told him.  
  
Ryuuichi reached out with one arm to bring Tatsuha closer to him. "What are you doing still wearing that costume? Get changed and let's enjoy the rest of the night!" Ryuuichi said.  
  
Tatsuha was grateful to change out of the heavy purple bear costume back into his comfortable white vee neck cotton shirt and faded black jeans underneath. The brisk air conditioning of the green room cooled his heated body, and he slumped down into a nearby overstuffed chair. He kept his eye on Ryuuichi from a distance, allowing him to relax and watch the festivities around him.  
  
Shuichi and Ryuuichi were quite the pair. The two singers genuinely loved the spotlight and were more than happy to pose for pictures together. The small room was simply bustling with photographers and journalists from all kinds of magazines and television stations.  
  
He couldn't help but smile at some young fans who had won a local radio contest to go backstage at Music Parade, who just swooned over Hiro, Shuichi and Ryuuichi. They even seemed swarmed around Mr. K and Touma, Ryuuichi's fellow bandmate and Bad Luck's infamously insane manager.  
  
No one took much notice of him, but he didn't mind. He was just glad that Touma was allowing him some slack on his bodyguard duties, since he had delievered his idol safe and sound to the studio. The contest winners left after a short time, and Hiro, Shuichi and Ryuuichi took up residence on the short couch beside him as the producers of Music Parade came in to congratulate their guests.  
  
Hiro and Shuichi looked postively blissful sitting close together on the couch, Ryuuichi observing as much as he was. It was something that he hadn't known they had in common, and one of the few things he hadn't already known about his idol.  
  
"Mr. Seguchi, your idea to have Shindou-san and Sakuma-san share the stage tonight was brillant! As masterful as always! Although we realize that the two young members of Bad Luck are not quite old enough to drink, we at Music Parade would like to present to all of you a bottle of our finest champagne! Thank you for a memorable evening!" one of the producers said.  
  
"Here, here!" they all agreed.  
  
Laughter and scattered applause filled the room as Touma took it upon himself to pop the cork on the producers' gift, Mr. K being the first to catch the rush of champagne that flowed from the bottle's violent opening. He poured Touma a glass, a handful of glasses for the producers and their guests, and lastly a more than generous glass for Ryuuichi.  
  
"If I didn't know any better, I'd swear you were trying to get me drunk tonight...I guess that's okay though, since no one's going to take adavantage of me except for Kumagoro and Tatsuha." Ryuuichi laughed, squeezing his toy rabbit affectionately.  
  
"Sounds like wishful thinking to me." Shuichi teased him.  
  
Ryuuichi stared wide eyed at the redheaded singer for a moment, startled only momentarily by the subtle change in Shuichi's demeanor. The two singers had created a strong bond over the last year, one fostered out of respect anf hero worship on both sides. There was no doubt in his mind who had inspired the petite redhead to become more outspoken and confident with his idol.  
  
That inspiration was more than evident in the way Hiro and Shuichi expressed their affection for each other in their own ways, allowign them the freedom to be themselves and remain close at the same time.Tatsuha had felt that connection with Ryuuichi when they had kissed at the park, and wondered if Ryuuichi had felt it too.  
  
Shaking his head free of those thoughts, Tatsuha blew off his momentary lapse of reason, blaming his friends' Hiro and Shuichi for that. He had gotten caught in the whirlwind of their heady roamnce, nearly as intoxicated on it as Ryuuichi was getting on his glass of champagne. The dark haired singer drank his drink slowly, savoring it's rich flavor, letting the bubbles get into his head.  
  
Mr. K, having been Ryuuichi's manager and clsoest confidente of the last couple years, showed his ever present concern as he knelt down in front of Ryuuichi. 'Are you okay, Sakuma-san? Do you need to go back to the hotel?" he asked him.  
  
"Yes please, if you don't mind. I'd like Tatsuha to come with me so I don't hurt myself or something." he giggled under his breath.  
  
"Already way ahead of you. I'm afraid Ryuuichi-san is going to have to call it an early night. Hiroshi, Shuichi, I'm sure we'll be in touch soon." Touma told them.  
  
Hiro smiled, throwing his arm around the back of the couch, the movement pushing Shuichi to fall against his side. Shuichi smiled and curled up close to his best friend, exhausted form the day's events. Hiro smiled up at Touma.  
  
"No problem. Be sure you take good care of him, Tatsuha." Hiro said.  
  
Tatsuha blushed in spite of himself, which Touma barely noticed as he motioned for the teen to escort Ryuuichi back to the hotel. 'Leave your motorcycle here for tonight. I'll see to it that it's delevered to the hotel forst thing tomorrow morning." Touma said.  
  
"Yes sir, Touma." Tatsuha replied, as he rested his hand on the small of Ryuuichi's back to lead him to their waiting car.  
  
He could tel that Touma and Mr. K were being overly cautious over Ryuuichi's slightly tipsy condition, even though Ryuuichi seemed able to walk fine on his own and was completely coherent. The only difference in the singer was the heat that eminated from his body, making Tatsuha even more aware of him than ever. Ryuuichi himself seemed lost in singing various choruses of Nittle Grasper songs and pulling lint off of Kumagoro's ears.  
  
As the pair stepped outside into the brisk evening air, Tatsuha saw Reynolds waiting for them with his car door open, closing it behind his two clients as they stepped inside. Once again Ryuuichi closed the privacy blind between them, slumping against Tatsuha's side with a sigh. Tatsuha yawned, letting the gentle motion of the moving car lull them into a shirt nap before arriving at the hotel.  
  
Once again Ryuuichi charged towards the elevators, Tatsuha barely catching up before the doors closed behind them. Tatsuha watched his idol out of curiousity as he seemed to change moods, one of thoughtful seriousness. It was very rare to see Ryuuichi in this way, only when he was onstage or in one of his more serious videos.  
  
Tatsuha loved all the sides of Ryuuichi's personality, his serious side, his playful side and his sensual side, the side that never failed to arouse the teen to painful lengths. That was the look on Ryuuichi's face now, one of longing and desire as he attempted to capture Tatsuah's attention with his eyes.  
  
"Alone in an elevator again...that can't be a coincedence. It's like fate wants me to indulge in my fantasy. What do you think, Tatsuha?" he asked the teen.  
  
Tatsuha swallowed hard as he met the singer's smoldering gaze with his own.  
  
"I'm not sure what to think, to tell you the truth." he responded nervously.  
  
Ryuuichi smiled at him, moving within inches of his bodyguard. "That kiss we shared today told me something different." he said.  
  
Tatsuha reached up and nervously brushed a stray hair out of his eyes. "Yes, and I tried to apolgize for that too." he said.  
  
'You didn't have to do that. It's true that it's been a long time since I've kissed someone, but the wait was definitely worth it. I mean, you do have feelings for me, right? Touma told me so." Ryuuichi said.  
  
'Well, yes. I've been one of your biggest fans since I was thirteen. I was honored when Touma asked me to work for you." Tatsuha said.  
  
"Do your feelings dwell any deeper than just being a fan? Have you ever felt stronger feelings towards me?" Ryuuichi asked.  
  
Tatsuha had to bite his lip from moaning out loud at his idol's provacative question. He had very rarely seen Ryuuichi in such a highly aroused state and he knew it was partly to blame on the champagne.  
  
"Ryuuichi..." he whispered, as his idol moved closer to him, his hands moving to the curve of the teen's backside.  
  
Tatsuha felt his skin flush, his body heat increase as he stared deep into Ryuuichi's eyes, seeing confusion and need there. He closed his eyes as he felt Ryuuichi's breath against his face before the older man claimed his lips in a deep, open mouth sensual kiss.  
  
Tatsuah moaned helplessly as he returned Ryuuichi's affection, the heat of his idol's lithe form unmistakeable as he pressed his body agaisnt the teen's taller frame. He slowly wound his arms around ryuuichi's waist, pulling him closer and answering the singer's unasked questions by aggressively stroking his tongue against his.  
  
Kissing Ryuuichi was everything Tatsuah had expected it would be. He'd never in his wildest dreams could have ever imagined that he would be pressed up against a moving elevator wall, being kissed senseless by the man he had always held closest to his heart.  
  
Ryuuichi's petite body curved perfectly into his and the feeling was beyong exquisite. Ryuuichi's mouth and tongue were heavenly soft, warm and wet against his won, and he was captivated by the sensation of Ryuuichi's hard arousal rocking against his own.  
  
This was the same man he'd lusted over on hsi DVD's at home, the one he'd watched throw his head back in ectasy as Touma fell to his knees before him to satisfy his dark haired lover. It was that Ryuuichi that was giving himself completely to the teen, causing Tatsuha's eyes to snap open as Ryuuchi breathed heavily into his ear, his hand pressed against the evidence of his arousal.  
  
"I think this is our floor." Ryuuichi whispered.  
  
Stepping off the elevator, Tatsuah led them quietly back to Ryuuichi's hotel room, closing the door behind them. There was no mistaking Ryuuichi's form in the moonlit room as he sighed loudly, easing off hsi borrowed top to leave his chest wonderfully bare. He laid down on the bed next to Tatsuha, who greeted him with a smile.  
  
The singer's arms rose to wind themselves around Tatsuha's neck as he bent down to kiss him tenderly, allowing his idol to deepen the kiss furthur. This kiss was slightly different, a little tentative, like Ryuuichi wanted to be intimate with his young fan but was frightened for some unknown reason. This by itself was enough to make Tatsuha pause.  
  
"Ryuuichi, I'm sorry. I can't do this." he told him regretfully.  
  
Ryuuichi's eyes flew open. "What?" he asked.  
  
Tatsuha smiled. "As much as I adore you, I can't be with you this way, not while you're under the influence. It wouldn't be right. I have too much respect for you than that." he said.  
  
Ryuuichi sighed with regret and a little relief. "Yes, I understand completely. Thank you." he yawned.  
  
Tatsuha smiled again, brushing a kiss against Ryuuichi's neck, collasping on the bed beside him, already asleep before his head hit the pillow. 


	6. a day with no plans

Disclaimer-Gravitation does not belong to me. Author's note-To my reviewers, I'm glad that you are njoying the way I have decided to portray Ryuuichi. I have tried to stay as faithful to his character as possible, while making him into sorta a touchy-feely character like he seems to me. Thanks again for your reviews, especially the very sweet marriage proposal! WooT! On with the story!  
  
Tatsuha woke up the next morning to the sound of the bathroom shower running, with Ryuuichi not beside him in bed. He had been so tired from the night before that it had taken him a moment to remember that he had fallen asleep beside his idol. He vaquely remembered wking up a few times in the middle of the night, his eyes taking in the smooth curve of Ryuuichi's back as he slept soundly on hsi stomach.  
  
He had not doubts that it was Ryuuichi that was in the shower, his clothes strewn about the room. Tatsuha sighed as he spread out flat on his back, imaging Ryuuichi under the hot, steamy water, the slightest hint of soap trailing across his bare chest and legs and various other interesting places. Thinking about Ryuuichi in such a way never failed to arouse him, and he started to loosen his pants to releive the pressure before there was a knock on the door.  
  
"I'll get it." Ryuuichi shouted form within the bathroom.  
  
Tatsuha scrambled to make himself presentable as he sat politely over the rumpled blankets on the bed, his eyes widening as Ryuuichi came out of the bathroom, answering the door with only a towel around his waist.  
  
"Good morning, Mr. Sakuma." the maid squeaked out in surprise.  
  
Ryuuichi smiled. "Good morning, young lady. Bright and early this morning as always. I see you brought breakfast as well?" he asked.  
  
The maid smiled with a slight blush. "Oh yes, Mr. Seguchi himself insisted on having breakfast delievered to you and Mr. Usegi. Pardon me while I clean your room." she said.  
  
"By all means." Ryuuichi said, examing the contents of the pair's meal.  
  
Tatsuha walked over to where Ryuuichi was standing, keeping out of the way as Ryuuichi returned tot he bathroom to finish dressing, returning with said towel slung around his neck and a pair of low slung black jeans on with bare feet.  
  
"Help yourself to whatever you like, Tatsuha. Touma always arranges for all of us to have hardy, nutritious meals sent up. Would you mind handing me my black tank top from the dresser?" he asked.  
  
Tatsuha nodded, retrieving the garment after a short search, taking inventory of their breakfast selections while Ryuuichi pulled the shirt down over his head, sweeping the plush towel across his damp hair.  
  
"Much better." he said.  
  
Waiting politely until the maid left, the two men made themselves generous plates filled with freshly cut fruit, slices of crunchy bacon and fluffy omelets. Ryuuichi barely blinked an eye as there was a brief knock on the door before Touma and Noriko walked in.  
  
"Good. I see you've gotten breakfast already. Good morning, Sakuma-san, Usegi-san. I trust you had a pleasant evening, no problems getting back?" Touma asked.  
  
Tatsuha smiled. "I don't remember exactly whe we made it in last night, but we just woke up just before you got here." he said.  
  
"Well, I just came by to let you know that I have checked Ryuuichi's schedule for today and he has no media obligations for the day, so the two of you are free to spend the day however you like." Touma said.  
  
"Just don't forget about that promotional softball game with Bad Luck that's going to be recorded live for that music television station this weekend." Noriko scolded him.  
  
Ryuuichi smiled. "I'm looking forward to it. I'm plannign to prove to Hiro and Shuichi that just because they're younger than me, doesn't mean I can't keep up with them. Thanks for the reminder." he said.  
  
Noriko smiled. "No problem. Just keep your eye on this young stud today. I wish I was the lucky one instead of you." she teased playfully, stroking a hand across Tatsuha's backside.  
  
Tatsuha jumped, startled and a little embarrassed, as the two musicians left the two men alone in the room. Ryuuichi gathered up Tatsuha's empty plate and his own, returning them to the maid's room service tray, sighing as he slumped down across the bed. Pushing his hair away from his face, he caught Tatsuha's eye by pulling his shirt away from his midsection to expose his flat stomach.  
  
"So, do you have any plans for today? I can hang out here if I have to, but you know I'd rather not." Ryuuichi complained with a smile.  
  
"Well, since I really didn't pack that much stuff in my hurry to show up on time to take you to the zoo yesterday, I thought I would go over to my brother's house and finish doing that." Tatsuha told him.  
  
Ryuuichi thought about this for a moment. "Going over to your brother Eiri-san's house, huh? I guess I can handle that, if you don't mind me tagging along." he said.  
  
"Of course not! I did make a promise to you, right? This is supposed to be our unforgettable summer together, so you couldn't get rid of me if you tried." Tatsuha said with a smile.  
  
"I definitely wouldn't try. I've had a blast already and it hasn't even been a whole two days yet. I enjoy your company, Tatsuha." he said.  
  
"I feel the same way about you. I guess we can leave whenever you're ready." he told the singer.  
  
The singer rose up off the mattress to put on his socks and heavy black boots. "Tatsuha?" he asked.  
  
The teen turned to look at him "Yes?" he asked.  
  
"I'm sorry about last night. I have to admit that it's been a long time since I've genuinely wanted to be close to someone. I guess I have some issues with that." he admitted.  
  
"You don't own me an apology. I was out of line in the first place for what I did at the zoo. You mean more to me than just a fullfillment of a fantasy." Tatsuha said.  
  
Ryuuichi smiled, walking over to the teen and embracing him. "Thank you. You don't know how much I appreciate hearing that." he said.  
  
Tatsuha closed his eyes with a soft exhale, returning his idol's embrace, breathing in the scent of his freshly washed hair and the earthy essense of the man he loved even more than ever.  
  
"What the hell are you bastards doing here, interrupting me while I'm busy working?" Yuki asked his brother and Ryuuichi, as they walked inside the blonde writer's sparsely decorated home.  
  
Tatsuha narrowed his eyes at him. "We didn't come to disturb you. I just came by to finish packing for my summer job. Eiri, this is Ryuuichi. I'm sure you've met before." Tatsuha said.  
  
Yuki shook the singer's offered hand. "Yes. We've met before. We met a long time ago when he and Touma first formed Nittle Grasper." Yuki said.  
  
Ryuuichi returned his handshake. "Yes. Your brother Eiri-san is not one easily forgotten." he told Tatsuha.  
  
"I just hope my idiot brother isn't giving you any grief. Lord knows, I'm going to be glad to be rid of him for the summer." Yuki said.  
  
Realizing it would do him no good to try to defend himself, Tatsuha instead concentrated on what he had come there to do.  
  
"Make yourself at home, Ryuuichi, since my brother is obviously too impolite to even offer you a drink. Tell me, whose idea was it really to hire my brother for the summer?" Yuki asked Ryuuichi.  
  
Ryuuichi frowned at him. "I think you're being much too hard on your brother. I've never had any reasons to doubt your brother-in-law Touma's decisions on my behalf. Or is there more to it than that, like the age difference between us?" he asked.  
  
Yuki frowned. "My brother may be young, but he is definitely not innocent. Don't let him fool you into thinking anything different." Yuki said.  
  
Ryuuchi sighed. "I can see that you haven't changed at all since I knew you last, Eiri-san. I would have thought that being with Shuichi-san would have softened you a little. I guess I was wrong. I hope you'll excuse me." Ryuuichi said.  
  
Yuki barely looked up to acknowledge the singer walking away, drowning himself on calls on his cellphone. Ryuuichi searched the house for the younger, more friendly brother, finding him busy folding clothes into lightweight nylon suitcases.  
  
"Hi." Ryuuichi said.  
  
Tatsuha smiled. "Hi. I'm nearly finished here. Did you and my brother have a nice talk?" he asked.  
  
"Yes. It just reminded me why I never kept in contact with Touma's in-laws, even though I get along fine with you and Mika-san." Ryuuichi said.  
  
"Yes. His personality is often a hard pill to swallow. I honestly don't see what Shuichi saw in him, although they seemed happy until Shuichi chose Hiro. I sometimes wonder if Eiri-san is bitter about that." Tatsuha thought aloud.  
  
"Oh yes, Nakano-san is very handsome and so very loyal to Shuichi-san. Touma and I have been best friends for nearly as long, but we've never been as close as they are. I almost envy them." Ryuuichi sighed wistfully.  
  
Tatsuha was about to respond just before his thoughts were interrupted by his brother's angry shout from the living room. Concerned, the two men rushed out to find what the commotion was about.  
  
"Yes, you bastards, I told you to be here an hour and a half ago! I don't know why I hired you in the first place! I have that photo shoot crew arriving in less than three hours! Screw you! I'll take my business elsewhere! Goodbye!" Yuki exclaimed.  
  
"What's the matter, Eiri-san?" Tatsuha asked.  
  
Yuki sighed. "Well, if you must know, I had been asked by one of the publishers of Houses and Landscapes Magazine to showcase my home in an upcoming issue of their magazine. I had arranged for some landscapers to come by and set up an arrangement for my front yard. I don't know what I'm going to do now." he told them.  
  
"I have a great idea! Since your brother and i have no plans for the day, he and I could take on this gardening project ourselves! What do you think, Tatsuha?" Ryuuichi asked him.  
  
"Before you say no, Eiri-san, think about this. That magazine may even be intriqued to see the three of us communing with the soil." Tatsuha told him.  
  
Yuki's eyes widened. "Three? I never volunteered to help! But if you insist on helping out, I guess I'll accept your offer as long as it doesn't involve me." he told them.  
  
Ryuuichi smiled. "Great! I have some costumes back at the hotel that we can wear to the gardening supply store." he said.  
  
"Costumes?" the two brothers said in unison.  
  
"I didn't think it was that funny." Tatsuha complained, making lat minute preparations on the costume Ryuuichi had given him to wear.  
  
"I don't think Yuki was laughing at you, Tatsuha. It was probably my costume more than yours." Ryuuichi said.  
  
In truth, Tatsuha thought they both looked ridiculous, dressed as an aged old botanist and his very pregnant granddaughter. The matching wigs that they wore made them look much more the part, Ryuuichi's hair down his back, Tatsuha's in a long braid. The huge bushy eyebrows and thick glasses on Tatsuha were nothing compared to the huge pregnancy belly and fake bosom tha this idol wore beneath an oversized blue floral dress.  
  
Yuki, upon seeing them, had laughed so hard he had given himself a nosebleed. The good part was that because he had garnered so much entertainment at their expense, Yuki had given them a little extra money for their trouble.  
  
"You can be so hateful sometimes, Eiri-san." Tatsuha chided him for his continued laughter, waving his cane at his brother.  
  
Yuki glanced over at them for where he was sitting with his head back with a hand pinched over his nose to stop the bleeding. "Just go already before I change my mind." he told them. 


	7. gardening with the Usegis

Disclaimer-Gravitation is not mine. Author's note-I must give props to my typist who typed this chapter for me! All hail Ushii Tomodachi-san! On with the story!  
  
Thinking better than to take his motorcycle with Ryuuichi in his "condition", they opted instead to borrow one of Yuki's many cars, one that wouldn't draw that attention to them.  
  
"Your brother made us a really extensive list, didn't he?" Ryuuchi asked, absentmindingly stroking his enormous stomach.  
  
"That's okay. I think it will be interesting to get down in his yard and make it look even better than it does now." Tatsuha said.  
  
"He does have a beautiful home." Ryuuichi agreed.  
  
Not having spent that much time there himself, Tatsuha didn't really have an opinion about his older brother's home. He knew for a fact that Yuki had orginally bought the house as a home for him to Shuichi to share, and now it had become a burden and a reminder of better times. The fact that Yuki had decided to showcase his home for the media proved that maybe there was hope for his brother after all.  
  
Tatsuha hadn't even noticed that he had been lost in his thoughts until he felt Ryuuichi reach over to brush a bothersome hair away from his face.  
  
"Sorry. You just looked thoughtful just now. Do you have a lot on your mind?" Ryuuichi asked.  
  
"No more than usual. I'm sorry for getting distracted. My attention should be on you since it's my job to watch over you for the summer." Tatsuha said.  
  
'Don't worry. You're doing a great job. I'm actually excited about doing some gardening. I haven't gotten to do anything like that in years, probably since I was a teenager." he said.  
  
"Well, if it means anything, this will kinda be a first for me too, especially gardening with one of my musical idols." Tatsuha said.  
  
Ryuuichi blushed. "I don't know what to say...thank you." he responded.  
  
Tatsuha smiled over at his companion, finding himself as enchanted as ever by the older man's flushed state. There was a part of him that wanted to believe that there was a certain amount of intimacy to gardening together, and even if he never got the chance to be close to Ryuuichi like he had the day before, he wouldn't change a thing about their time together.  
  
He'd forgotten how uncomfortable it was to wake up with a raging erection, the cause of his troubles lying right beside him in bed. He had been sorely tempted to accept Ryuuichi's offer the night before, wishing forever that he could claim the singer body and soul and call him his own. He had to stifle his groan thinking about the sweetness of his idol's mouth, the lean strength of their bodies against each other...  
  
"Is this the place?" Ryuuichi asked him, as they drove into the parking lot of the gardening center.  
  
Tatsuha nodded as he parked the car, lending his hand to his companion to help him out of the car to keep up the premise of their costumes. When Ryuuichi made no effort to extract his hand from his own, Tatsuha accepted this simple affectionate gesture, hobbling beside the falsely pregnant singer into the building.  
  
The peaceful strains of a soft jazz melody greeted them as the pair browsed through their colorful surroundings. They hadn't realized how impressive a selection they would have, ranging from the colr varities of many fragrant blossoms, the brillant foliage of large tropical plants or the heights of maturing shade trees.  
  
After staring at the strangely dressed twosome for a moment, the store manager came out to greet the old man and his pregnant granddaughter.  
  
"You're the Skye's, I'll presume? Welcome. Mr. Eiri has already called his order ahead, so my men are ready to leave whenever you are. I can only hope the two of you are not the ones doing the work?" he asked them.  
  
Tatsuha squeezed Ryuuichi's hand affectionately. "Of course not! I wouldn't even consider letting my precious granddaughter here get her fingernails dirty doing such manuel labor. Wouldn't want her to go into labor before she's ready." Tatsuha said.  
  
Ryuuichi leaned over to place a kiss across Tatsuha's cheek. "You're so thoughtful, Grandpa." he said in a convincing feminine voice.  
  
Tatsuha stifled his blush as he informed the manager that they were indeed ready and arranged to meet the workers at his brother's home.  
  
Falling silent on the drive back to the house, Tatsuha could tell that Ryuuichi was excited about the events ahead, making him wonder how much his idol had missed out on being in the spotlight for such a long time.  
  
He guessed that there were downsides to being famous, even if being so allowed a person a better lifestyle. His own family had never suffered for money but appreciated all they had, and Tatsuha was as comfortable being a monk as he was being Ryuuichi's bodyguard. If this truly was the first time for Ryuuichi to do something like this in a long time, he wanted to make sure it was memorable for him.  
  
His dedication to his idol did not surprise him. He felt as though he owed the older man for all the years of pleasurable fantasties and musical talent he had been honored to share. The teen's only skills were that of the monastic variety, and to be able to garden with his honey Ryuuichi...words failed to describe his feelings.  
  
Tatsuha was still awash with emotion over his good fortune as they made it back to the house, shedding their heavy costumes for much lighter clothing. Surprisely enough, a pair of cut off denim shorts of his own fit the much more petite singer and he was more than happy to lend him one of his comfortable baggy tee shirts to get sweaty in. Tatsuha changed into a pair of shorts himself and a white tank top.  
  
"Wow. Wearing white really puts a lot of emphasis on your dark hair." Ryuuichi commented.  
  
"Thanks. I think the men from the landscaping supply are finished. Let's get started." Tatsuha said.  
  
The two men passed Yuki as he walked up to the doorway with a cigerette in hand. "Those people from the magazine are already here. They heard Ryuuichi was going to be here and they couldn't get here fast enough. Just remember I'm not getting involved." he reminded them.  
  
Tatsuha ignored his brother's coldness, focusing instead on the job ahead of them. Yuki followed them outside to greet his guests.  
  
"Good afternoon, Mr. Eiri. When we contacted you before about showcasing your home, we had no idea that you had asked Ryuuichi Sakuma of Nittle Grasper to help with the photo shoot. And who might this young man be? He's very photogenic." one of the reporters said.  
  
"This is my brother Tatsuha. He's working for Sakuma-san for the summer. The two of them volunteered to help out with the gardening when other plans fell through." Yuki said.  
  
"How wonderful! This would be a great angle for our feature. Would it be okay with the two of you if we photographed you hard at work?" the rporter asked.  
  
Tatsuha smiled. "Only if my brother Yuki agrees to be a part of this with us." he said.  
  
"What?!" Yuki exclaimed. He narrowed his eyes at the teen with clenched teeth. "Why, you little..." he said under his breath.  
  
"We'd hate to put you out if it's an inconvience, Mr. Eiri, but I'm sure that doing so gardening with your brother and Mr. Sakuma would only cause your female readership to endear themselves to you more." the reporter told him.  
  
Not wishing to alienate those that provided him the lifestyle in which he was accustomed, Yuki sighed and went along with the changes in the magazine's photo shoot.  
  
He would never admit it aloud, but the uptight blonde writer actually found himself almost enjoying himself as he crouched on his knees to assist his brother and Ryuuichi in their gardening efforts. He was sure that Touma would have a fit if he could see the childlike Ryuuichi digging into the earth like a man possessed, tenderly planting the many colred blooms of various flowers around the most scenic parts of his yard.  
  
Tatsuha had gone inside to make them some cold iced tea and had brought damp washclothes for all of them to wash the sweat away. The magazine photographers devoured this scene as if there were at a buffet and were as eager to celebrate afterwards as the trio were.  
  
"I hope you gentlemen will excuse me, but I think I'm going to borrow Mr. Eiri's shower now, if that's okay with him." Ryuuchi said.  
  
Yuki waved him away with a sigh. "Yes, yes, fine, fine. Go ahead." he told him.  
  
"Thank you for an eventful photo shoot, Mr. Eiri. I'm sure this will be the most collectible of all of our issues." the reporter said.  
  
Yuki nodded as he shook the man's hand. "Thank you." he told them.  
  
Barely taking note of their departure, Yuki glanced over at his teen brother, slumped over on his back on his nearly maincured lawn, mindlessly swatting away ants as they atrempted to crawl onto him. He walked over to Tatsuha and kicked him softly in the foot.  
  
"Get up, you lazy bastard. You're ruining my lawn." he told him.  
  
Tatsuha squinted at him, shielding his eyes from the sun as he sat up. "Yeah, okay. Would you mind giving a guy some help up?" he asked.  
  
"Gods, you're useless. Here." Yuki said, offering his brother a hand.  
  
"Thanks." Tatsuha said, brushing the grass off of himself.  
  
"I just wanted to let you know that since you and Ryuuichi offered to help out, I decided to cook the two of you dinner. You'll here to make dessert yourselves though, if you want it." Yuki said.  
  
Tatsuha stared at him dumbfounded for a minute. "Thank you, Eiri." he said.  
  
Yuki managed a faint smile at his brother before walking away to go inside.  
  
As much as Tatsuha wanted to strip down and shower himself, he knew the bathroom was already occupied by Ryuuichi. Throwing his tank top into his dirty clothes hamper, he rested against the closed door with his eyes closed, almost falling backwards when Ryuuichi opened the door.  
  
"Oh Tatsuha, it's you. I'm done in here if you want to use the shower. It's okay if you come in." Ryuuichi said.  
  
Too exhausted to argue, Ryuuichi accepted his invitation, once again surprised to see his idol in only a towel. This towel was much more revealing than the thick one at the hotel, one that Tatsuha knew Yuki kept around as a spare when laundry needed to be done.  
  
This towel rested very low on his hips and high on his thighs, molding itself to his rounded backside. Keeping his eyes from venturing below his idol's waistline, he instead focused on his own hardening arousal as he prepared to step into the shower.  
  
"Tatsuha, wait. Are you going in dressed like that?" Ryuuichi asked him.  
  
Tatsuha stammered to find his voice. "I think that would be best, yes." he told him.  
  
"You know, you really do have an impressive frame for being so young. I wasn't aware that monks were so lean and muscular." Ryuuichi said.  
  
Tatsuha laughed nervously. "It must be all the rice and homemade wine." he said.  
  
Ryuuichi nodded. "Perhaps, or it could be from less than a monastic lifestyle. Not that I would ever judge you, Tatsuha. I know when I was your age, I definitely wasn't interested in being a singer because of the music." Ryuuichi said.  
  
"The only music I ever really cared about was the music that you created, Ryuuichi, not the kind I created with others." Tatsuha told him.  
  
"Yes. It took me a long time to realize that real pleasure was in making other people happy. Making you happy, Tatsuha, makes me happy." Ryuuichi said.  
  
"I couldn't be any happier than I am right now, Ryuuichi." he told him.  
  
Tears almost came to the teen's eyes when he saw Ryuuichi's face break out into a smile, something he had helped the singer achieve with his words. This reminded him of some of his bathroom fantasies about Ryuuichi, about them being pretty much in the same scenario, either occupying themselves with favors tended to each other, or wrapped in each other's arms beneath a steamy shower.  
  
It would be too easy to give in and drag Ryuuichi into the shower with him, to have their wet bodies slide against each other in anticipation of more...lost again in his daydreams, he hadn't noticed that Ryuuichi had inched closer to him in the effort to get his attention. The feeling of Ryuuichi's hand sliding to the nape of his neck to weave into his hair did the trick, forcing Tatsuha's eyes to meet with his idol's.  
  
"Ryuuichi." he said softly.  
  
The two men stared into each other's eyes for the longest time before finally coming together in each other's arms, Tatsuha's mouth slanting over Ryuuichi's for an intense, fevered kiss. He hadn't expected to be quite so forceful with the singer, but his need to be close to his Ryuuichi had called all the shots.  
  
Ryuuichi's skin was still damp against his hands, Ryuuichi's hands sweeping down across the small of Tatsuha's back. Tatsuha parted from the kiss slightly with a sharp gasp when Ryuuichi echoed his action from the night before. This reaction caused the singer to bury his head in the teen's hair to test his bodyguard's restraint.  
  
"You shouldn't get in the shower with those on." Ryuuichi told him, his hands roaming to the fastenings of Tatsuha's shorts.  
  
"Ryuuichi..." he gasped, feeling the singer part the fabric to touch him.  
  
Tatsuha reached out to press Ryuuichi closer to him, allowing Ryuuichi to distract him with a deep, passionate kiss as he continued his hand's assault. He so badly wanted to return the favor in too many ways to count, and could feel Ryuuichi arch his hips towards him in invitation just before they were startled apart by a loud knock on the door.  
  
"What are you two doing in there? Dinner's ready!" Yuki shouted.  
  
Tatsuha blushed furiously. "We'll be right out." he told him.  
  
Sighing with relief as Yuki walked away, Tatsuha smiled over at his flushed companion, still in shock that they had been so intimate.  
  
"I don't think anything but a cold shower is going to get rid of this." Tatsuha said about his condition.  
  
Ryuuichi nodded, understanding completely. "I guess we'd better hurry so we don't make Eiri-san more upset. I'll see you in a few minutes." he said.  
  
Tatsuha smiled. "Okay." he said.  
  
Damn Yuki and his bad timing, Tatsuha thought. He still couldn't believe that he had practically been leaning against the bathroom wall, allowing Ryuuichi to pleasure him with those long talented fingers of his. If Yuki hadn't interrupted...all sorts of things might have happened. Ryuuichi might have continued his hand's journey instead with that sweet mouth of his or Tatsuha could have done the same to him.  
  
Would any amount of icy cold water relieve him of this problem that had no end, he wondered. He wondered what would be worse, an neverending erection or blasting his most sensitive area until it was an icicle? Those thoughts finally allowed him some relief, along with a little help of his own. 


	8. a cozy scene

Disclaimer-Gravitation does not belong to me.  
  
"I didn't know that you were such a good cook, eiri-san. How did you know to make my favorite dish, curried noodles with Jasmine tea?" Ryuuichi asked Yuki.  
  
Yuki rolled his eyes, setting out on the counter the dish that had lured the singer out into the kitchen. Thoughts of the similiarties between Ryuuichi's slight build and of the memories of his ex-lover's flashed through his mind, another one of the many reasons he disliked the singer that shared almost as many years as he did.  
  
Yuki knew he had to tolerate Ryuuichi for his brother's sake as well as for Touma, owing the man for a lifetime of dedicated friendship. True friends were hard to come by, especially ones that could deal with him on a personal level.  
  
"My brother is always ranting on and on about what they write about you in magazines, your height, hair color, eye color, favorite foods. I guess I must have paid attention once or twice. It wasn't intentional." Yuki said.  
  
"Don't let him fool you. He's a great cook when he sets his mind to it. You didn't shower, Eiri?" Tatsuha asked, walking into the kitchen.  
  
Yuki narrowed his eyes at him. "No. My bathroom was occupied for some reason. You could've at least let me use it if you weren't going to." he scolded his brother.  
  
"Ryuuichi and I will be gone tomorrow and you'll have the house to yourself again." Tatsuha said.  
  
"I honestly don't care either way. I've already gotten the table set. Let's sit down and eat before it gets cold." Yuki said.  
  
The two brothers and Tatsuha's honey Ryuuichi wasted no time sitting down at the table to pay homage to Yuki's offerings from the kitchen, the sweet jasmine tea cooling against the spicy heat of the delicious steaming curry noodles.  
  
Tatsuha was grateful that Yuki had remembered such a minor detail about the man he adored and almost admired his brother for the small token of brotherly affection. Surprisely, he was closer to Yuki than he was Mika, Mika mainly concerned with the trappings of being the high profile wife of their record producer brother-in-law. Neither he or Yuki had ever heard any complaints about their long standing marriage, knwing their very vocal sister would definitely have something to say if she wasn't happy.  
  
Losing himself in thoughts of what he and Ryuuichi had shared in the bathroom, Tatsuha could definitely see himself in the long term with the older man. What bothered him, however, was that Ryuuchi seemed to be seeking a relationship of a less emotional nature.  
  
This was more than proven by the way he aggressively sought to intiatite intimacy between them everytime they were alone, not that he minded. He wanted desperately to be Ryuuichi's lover, more than anything, but the look in his eyes the night before had spoken volumes about his fragile emotional state.  
  
As much as he wanted to share the older man's bed, he couldn't shake the demons that lurked behind Ryuuichi's eyes. There had to be some reason that Ryuuichi feared getting too close, and he hoped that before the summer ended, he would find out.  
  
Despite all that, as he looked over at Ryuuchi across the table, sharing a smile between them, he loved him as much as he always did, maybe more so, especially now that the two of them were building such a close friendship.  
  
"You know, Eiri-san, Shuichi-san has told me that you have quite the sweet tooth. Is that why you hinted at your brother and I to make dessert?" Ryuuichi asked Yuki.  
  
Yuki stiffened at the mention of Shuichi's name, picking up his empty plate to take it into the kitchen. "I don't know why that little bastard persists on gossiping about me, but yes, I do keep a variety of sweets around in case I want them. As far as the cake goes, I already bought a mix. I'm just not in the mood to make it myself." he told them.  
  
"Well then, we wouldn't want to disappoint the great Yuki Eiri, would we? Ryuuichi and I would be happy to make it for you." Tatsuha teased him.  
  
"Fine. Just don't involve me. I mean it this time!" he told them sternly.  
  
Tatsuha stifled a laugh at his brother's expense, even though he knew that Yuki wouldn't have afforded them the same luxury. He instead reviled in Ryuuichi's urgency to start on a new project. He loved the way that Ryuuchi dove into adventure body and soul.  
  
This could only mean that he would be an adventurious, sensual lover, that thought only fueled by memories of shared intimacies so far. He didn't know if Ryuuichi genuinely had feelings for him or if he was just a target of the man's lustful cravings, but time would answer these questions.  
  
While Tatsuha had been busy with his ever persistant thoughts, Ryuuichi had decided to raid the kitchen in search of accomplishing their goal, decorating the counters with bakeware, cake and frosting ingrediants.  
  
He suggested that they make the frosting homemade, with powdered sugar and a hint of cinnamon. Tatsuha agreed, knwing that cinnamon was one of Yuki's addictions, and he prepared the cake mix ingrediants while Ryuuichi mixed the frosting. Putting the cake mixture into the pan and placing it in the oven, Tatsuha offered the mixing bowl for Ryuuichi to taste from.  
  
He accepted the offer with a smile, Tatsuha playfully smearing his Ryuuchi's nose with the sweet frosting. Ryuuichi laughed as he cleaned the mess away, doing the same to Tatsuha's cheek. This time, however, he did not use his fingers to wipe away the offending sweet, but slowly ran his tongue across Tatsuha's cheek instead. Tatsuha shivered with a soft moan, reaching out to keep the singer close as their eyes met once again.  
  
"Mmm...you don't know what you do to me, Ryuuichi." Tatsuha told him.  
  
Ryuuchi smiled. "I just wanted to find out which was sweeter, the frosting or you." he said.  
  
"And what did you find out?" Tatsuha asked.  
  
Ryuuichi cocked his head at him. "I'm not sure. I may need another taste." he said.  
  
Padding through the living room to venture into the kitchen to check on his two housemates, Yuki silently reeled at the sight of his his teenaged brother and the object of Tatsuha's most ardent affection in a passionate embrace, engaged in a deep, sensual open mouth kiss.  
  
He couldn't tell whose idea it had orginally been, but it seemed they had already been familiar enough with each other to allow their hands to roam over each other's bodies. The last one to interfere in Tatsuha's love life since he wanted the same for himself, he knew now that he would never hear the end of Tatsuha's obsession with Ryuuichi, especially if they kept going the way they were now.  
  
He could recall their parents' complaining about his brother's preoccupation with the singer, and it didn't seem as though the very eager and willing Ryuuichi minded at all.  
  
"Hey! I'm going to bed. I'll have some cake tomorrow. Just don't burn it tonight. You're welcome to stay here tonight as long as you're gone in the morning." Yuki shouted from the living room.  
  
Tatsuha parted reluctantly from his idol to answer him, almost relieved in a way for the momentary distraction. "No problem." Tatsuha shouted back.  
  
Ryuuichi rubbed his eyes with a yawn. "I think I'll settle in too." he said.  
  
Tatsuha nodded. "Okay. I'll be in to check on you once the cake is done." he said.  
  
"Thank you." Ryuuichi said softly as he walked away.  
  
Sitting down lotus style on the cool kitchen tile in front of the oven, Tatsuha wondered how much Yuki had seen of their brief interlude. He had gotten instantly aroused the second Ryuuichi had licked him across his face and that ache had only intenstified when Ryuuichi had backed up his need for a second taste test by spreading frosting across Tatsuha's lips with his finger. His reaction was swift and unyielding as Ryuuichi rolled his tongue against the teen's mouth suggestively.  
  
This time it was Ryuuichi who gasped as Tatsuha hauled the shorter man into his arms, returning his teasing and then some. That was probably where Yuki had come in, when he and Ryuuichi had been engaged in that kiss that seemed to have no end.  
  
He was grateful for when the cake finished baking, and he slid the unfrosted cake and it's frosting mix into the fridge for the next morning. Because in his bed like he had been in many of his fantasties, Ryuuichi was probably sound asleep under the blankets or was waiting up for him. Either way was good for him, his expectations for the summer already exceeded.  
  
He made his way quietly into his bedroom, finding Ryuuichi sprawled out across the last of the clothes he had wanted to pack, dressed only in a pair of black satin boxer shorts. He guessed he didn't mind Ryuuichi wearing his favorite sleepwear, which meant he could sleep in the nude if he wanted as long as he locked the bedroom door.  
  
It would be comfortable to do so with the way Ryuuichi made him feel, and he got a secret thrill at the thought that Ryuuichi might get curious in the morning and definitely continue what he had started before.  
  
Tatsuha grunted as he woke up the next morning to the sound of his cellphone ringing on his bedside table, sitting up in bed to answer it.  
  
"Hello?" he asked.  
  
"Oh Tatsuha, were you still asleep? Pardon me for waking you, but I thought it best to check in on you and Ryuuichi since you didn't make it back to the hotel last night. Noriko-chan and I were very worried." Touma said.  
  
Tatsuha scratched the back of his head, laughing nervously. "Yeah, sorry about that. We got a little behind in what we came here to do. We decided to help Eiri-san out for a magazine shoot and he offered to make dinner for us." he said.  
  
"He must have been very appreciative to have cooked for you himself. I heard about the photo shoot. The magazine's publishers called Mr. K this morning to get his permission to use Ryuuichi in their magazine." Touma said.  
  
"Do you need to speak to Eiri-san?" Tatsuha asked.  
  
"No. That's alright. I'll speak to him later after he's woken up some more. How is Ryuuichi anyway? I'll take it from the photos I was faxed that he's been having a good time?" Touma asked.  
  
"I'd like to think so. He got up before I did, so i'll assume he's having breakfast with my brother." Tatsuha said.  
  
"That sounds like a cozy scene. Makes me almost wish I was there. I won't keep you then." Touma said, hanging up.  
  
Hanging up the phone, Tatsuha looked around the room for his discarded clothing just as Ryuuichi came into the room with a tray full of food in his arms.  
  
"Oh good, you're awake. Good morning. Tatsuha." Ryuuichi said.  
  
Tatsuha smiled. "Good morning, Ryuuichi." he said.  
  
"I thought I might bring you a few servings of the cake we made last night. Eiri-san was more generous than I expected, considering what you told me about his love of sweets." Ryuuichi said.  
  
Once again Ryuuichi had borrowed some of his clothes, a pair of faded black jeans and a fitted black shirt. Ryuuichi really did have the most wonderful build for a man of his age and stature, even fully clothed.  
  
Tatsuha blushed furiously when he realized he wouldn't be able to get out of bed without exposing himself to the singer, and his reaction to his attire only made that all the less desirable of an action.  
  
Ryuuichi seemed to sense this, as he sat the tray down on Yuki's dresser and crawled onto the bed to slip under the blankets with him. He stiffened slightly as Ryuuichi reached out to embrace him, curling up against his companion's sleep warmed body.  
  
"It's been way too long since I've done this with someone. I hope you don't mind." Ryuuichi sighed wistfully.  
  
"No...no, of course not! I don't mind at all." Tatsuha stammered out.  
  
The teen took a quick inventory of the sudden itimate gesture, noticing that Ryuuichi was indeed enjoying being close to him, but still seemed very far away. Still, it was a sign of affection from the man he loved and he allowed himself to enjoy the closeness until he felt as though he might fall asleep again.  
  
"Come on, Ryuuichi. I need to finish packing so we can leave. I promised Eiri-san I wouldn't waste any more time." Tatsuha said.  
  
Ryuuichi nodded, understanding completely. "Okay. I'll wrap up our dessert so we can take it with us." Ryuuichi told him.  
  
Without Ryuuichi in the room to distract him, Tatsuha was able to finish packing in record time and was surprised when Yuki offered to drive them back to the hotel, Tatsuha on his motorcycle ahead of them. Yuki and Ryuuichi had very little to say to each other on the way back, Yuki being considerate enough not to smoke around the singer, who was very sensitive to such things. It was a small gesture from the blonde writer, but one that Ryuuichi appreciated. 


	9. anticipation

Disclaimer-Gravitation does not belong to me.  
  
"These uniforms are pink! You expect us to wear these?" Shuichi complained.  
  
"Now, now, Shindou-san. You look good in pink. It really suits you." Hiro told him.  
  
Shuichi's eyes opened wide with joy, shimmers emainating from the redheaded teen. "Really? You think so, Hiroshi? Well then, of course, I must wear them!" he exclaimed.  
  
Fujisaki laughed. "Wow. You really know how to handle Shuchi-san's little tantrums. I'm impressed." he told Hiro.  
  
Hiro shrugged. "I've been doing this since we were kids. It's no big deal." he said.  
  
"I was surprised myself when everyone else decided to don the uniforms for the charity softball game too, especially Sakano." Fujisaki said.  
  
"Well, if the uniforms can suit Shuichi, then I can wear them too. It's my duty as Bad Luck's producer, after all." Sakano said.  
  
Trying on the uniform for size, Shuichi inspected his image in one of the locker room mirrors. "Oh yeah! My butt looks great in these pants! No wonder you encouraged me!" Shuichi laughed.  
  
Hiro blushed, not his true intention for encouraging the singer but still okay with the results. "So, who all is suiting up for this game anyway?" Hiro asked.  
  
"Well let's see, for our team, it's Shuichi, Hiro, Fujisaki, and myself. Ryuuichi's team, it's him, Seguchi-san and Noriko-san." Sakano said.  
  
"Sounds like they're down a player." Mr. K commented, polishing his gun.  
  
Shuichi grinned. "Maybe Ryuuichi can convince Tatsuha to play with, I mean, for them." he said.  
  
Hiro smiled at his lover's intentional faux pas, as the five of them waited for the rival team to arrive. They had decided to share locker rooms due to their close friendships with each other, and Sakano and Mr. K had no doubts that Tatsuha would accompany the rest of Nittle Grasper.  
  
Unsure of how long they had to wait, Hiro and Shuichi decided to take a little time to themselves together in a secluded part of the locker room, leaving the others to greet Ryuuichi and his bandmates.  
  
After a short time, Ryuuichi, Touma and Noriko arrived, with Tatsuha beside the dark haired singer.  
  
"Why am I not surprised to see that Hiroshi and Shuichi are nowhere to be found? Those two are like newlyweds already. Come on, you guys. We've got a game to win today." Noriko said.  
  
"Dream on. Bad Luck's only our name, not the way we do business. We're going to smash you geezers into the ground." Fujisaki retorted.  
  
Touma smiled. "No doubt it, he is definitely my blood relation. I wanted to let all of you know that since we were down a player, we asked my brother- in-law Tatsuha to join our team." touma said.  
  
Tatsuha blushed. "I still don't know about this, Touma." he said.  
  
Ryuuichi smiled, walking behind Tatsuha to rub his shoulders soothingly. "Don't worry, Tatsuha. I have complete confidence in your abilities." he told him.  
  
"Thanks." Tatsuha said.  
  
All heads turned as they were joined by Hiro and Shuichi, who were smoothing out the wrinkles in their uniforms. Ryuuichi shrieked and threw himself into Shuichi's arms.  
  
"Shuichi-san, have you gotten taller since I last saw you? Oh my, you're all flushed. Were you and your lover sharing a romantic interlude just now? Lucky!" Ryuuichi teased him.  
  
"Please stop, you're embarrassing me! It's good to see you too, Ryuuichi, as always." Shuichi said, returning his embrace.  
  
Tatsuha smiled at the neraly identical lead singers, the only differences in them their ages and hair color. It was Ryuuichi's habit to be affectionate towards Shuichi, the two of them sharing their likeness and talent. He and Ryuuchi were not like Hiro and Shuichi, even though the older man did show his aprreciation for the teen in his own way.  
  
The week had gone by quickly once the two of them had gone back to the hotel, spending time between tiresome band meetings and late nights spent talking, eating and falling asleep in each other's arms while indulging in rented movies.  
  
Finding that they shared a love of watching movies and ordering takeout, the pair also found that they enjoyed curling up together on the hotel bed to sleep afterwards even more.  
  
The more time passed, the more Ryuuichi seemed to trust him, and the less his baser instincts took control when Ryuuichi's sweet warm body was pressed up against his own after sharing a handful of deep, passionate kisses between them.  
  
He always instantly got hard whenever Ryuuichi would weave his fingers intot he dark hair at his nape and stroke his tongue against his own. Yet they had not yet made love, even as much as Tatsuha wanted to. He wanted Ryuuichi to know that he loved him, loved him truly from deep within his heart before he could cross that last path with him.  
  
He knew that when it was time, they would both know. He had never expected that Ryuuichi would return his affections, that he would yield himself so willingly to be kissed and touched by his young fan. A man of Ryuuichi's caliber could pick and choose from his choice of lovers, but he had chosen him.  
  
Tatsuha wondered how it had been when Ryuuichi and Touma had been lovers, if they had only been with each other or had indulged in groupies at the same time. So many things about Ryuuichi were a mystery, and he couldn't wait to find out more.  
  
"Hey! We're not geezers! We'll prove it to you once we get out on the field." Ryuuichi told the members of Bad Luck, from where he was changing in the restroom.  
  
"You're all talk. We'll see you out there." Mr. K shouted back, as he and the others left the members of Nittle Grasper to change.  
  
"It was nice of the music television station to fill in the rest of our teams with their own veejays. I heard the show today was sold out." Noriko said.  
  
"Yes. All the charities we're representing tday will be very pleased. Anything to help out a worthy cause." Touma said with a smile.  
  
Tatsuha blushed as he noticed Ryuuichi check both of them out in the locker room mirrors. He wasn't used to wearing such tight, revealing clothing, even if only his arms were exposed. Now he understood why sports players were paid so much.  
  
"Okay guys. I'm ready when you are." Ryuuichi said.  
  
Walking out onto the ball field, they found to their surprise that the media was interviewing Mika and Tatsuha's brother Yuki who had arrived together in support of both teams.  
  
"It's quite an honor for us to be able to interview the two of you together, famous romance novelist Yuki Eiri and his sister, the wife of Nittle Grasper keyboardist, Mrs. Mika Seguchi. Welcome!" the interviewer said.  
  
"Thank you. My brother and I came today to show our support for Bad Luck and Nittle Grasper. As you know, our younger brother Tatsuha has been chosen to play for Nittle Grasper's team." Mika said.  
  
The interviewer smiled. "Oh yes, definitely, and it is obvious that all of your good looks run in the family. Thank you very much for your time." the interviewer said.  
  
The pair walked intot he dugout to greet the others, Mika and Touma greeting each other with an embrace and Shuichi standing in surprise at seeing his ex-lover.  
  
"Hello Shuichi." Yuki said quietly.  
  
"Hello Yuki. I didn't know you were coming today. We appreciate your support." Shuichi said.  
  
"It was Mika's idea. Hello, Hiroshi." Yuki said.  
  
"Hello Yuki. Thank you for coming today." Hiro said.  
  
"Yuki and I wish both of your teams the best of luck, okay?" Mika asked.  
  
Shuichi looked over at Yuki to confirm this, as his name was called to be first at bat.  
  
"Hello! Welcome to Music International's third annual celebrity softball challenge! With us today are two of music's most popular rock groups, Bad Luck and Nittle Grasper! Having chosen vocaliat Shuichi Shindou to be their first batter, the Nittle Grasper team has chosen keyboardist Touma Seguchi as their designated pitcher." the announcer said.  
  
"Does Mr. Seguchi have any experience being a pitcher, Dominic?" the other announcer asked.  
  
"Not as far as my research has indicated, but the blonde musician does have a hard as nails reputation as the founder of N-G Records. Be careful out there, Shuichi!" Dominic said.  
  
"Wow! Look at that audience come alive as Shuichi nearly shatters the bat returning Touma's viciously fast pitch! And he's safe at second base! Way to go!" the other announcer said.  
  
"Woo! You go, Shindou-san!" Hiro shouted.  
  
Yuki smiled in spite of himself as he and Mika greeted their brother Tatsuha.  
  
"No, I didn't volunteer, they asked me. It was all Touma's idea." Tatsuha told them.  
  
"You shouldn't judge your brother so harshly, Eiri-san." Noriko said.  
  
"Just sit down and enjoy the rest of the show, Yuki." Mika told him.  
  
Yuki sighed and relented, watching his brother and Ryuuichi every now and then as the game went on. They seemed just as close as they had been at his house. Shuchi's bond with Hiro was very evident from the way they acted towards each other between plays, and he was happy for them.  
  
The only thing that really bothered him was when the members of Bad Luck decided to drown all of them with an oversized pitcher of sports drink when they won the game, three to two.  
  
"I hope you're going to pay to dry clean my suit, Shuichi-san." Yiki growled at the singer.  
  
"Hey no problem. I'll get it. It was my fault we lost anyway, right?" Ryuuichi asked.  
  
No, it was because of me, Tatsuah thought. He had been watching Ryuuichi from the dugout as he stood in the field, ready to catch the ball if it came to him. Preparing himself as Sakano sent Touma's pitch flying, Ryuuichi caught Tatsuha's stare with a smile, missing the wayward ball as it bounced off the top of his head. The assault had left the singer a little dazed, but glad the game was finally over.  
  
The two teams seperated to change and to give interviews to the media as Ryuuichi grabbed Tatsuha's arm to garner his attention.  
  
"Hey, let's get out of her before the reporters notice we're gone, okay?" Ryuuichi asked.  
  
Tatsuha nodded. "Okay." he said.  
  
Laughing under their breath as they made their escape to Tatsuha's motorcycle, Ryuuichi tightened his grip on Tatsuha's waist as the motor roared beneath them.  
  
"Tatsuha, do you ever fantasize about me?" Ryuuichi asked him.  
  
"Is that a trick question? You shouldn't ask me such things while I'm trying to drive. Saying things like that could cause me to crash." Tatsuha told him with a smile.  
  
"I'm sorry. I guess I was just curious because of the way you were staring at me today. I've had plenty of sexual fantasies in my time, but I've never found anyone that I could really connect with to make them come true." Ryuuichi said.  
  
Tatsuha was about to ask about his relationship with Touma, but thought better of that reminder. "Yes. I'll admit to fantasizing about you before, but being with you this past week has already fullfilled most of them. How about you?" Tatsuha asked.  
  
"I guess the most persistant fantasy I've always had had involve me being tied up by my lover and having them rub ice all over my body." Ryuuichi sighed.  
  
This time Tatsuha did almost swerve, one of his own fantasties being verbalized by the one that had been the object of such. He couldn't even remember how many sleepless nights he had suffered at that one's mercy, the sweet sound of Ryuuichi's moans beneath him as he tormented the singer all over with the cold torture.  
  
He wondered if Ryuuichi was contemplating this too, his arms tightening around Tatsuha's waist in an affectionate gesture. Sending the teen after a bucket of ice once they returned to the hotel, Ryuuchi stripped off his confining softball uniform to ease himself into a steamy shower. Vacating the nathroom politely once Tatsuha returned, the older man sighed as he cuddled Kumagoro on the bed, examing a piece of purple satin fabric he had retrieved from his dresser.  
  
Ryuuichi shivered with anticapation, feeling more alive than he's had in a long time. He was genuinely fond of the young man that was working as his bodyguard, and what was about to happen between them, he decided, had just been inevitable. He could tell from how hesitant Tatsuha was sometimes that he would be a gentle, compassionate lover and that thought by itself made him anxious for the teen to join him.  
  
Finishing his shower, Tatsuha dressed in just his low slung black jeans, willing away his nervousness as he stood in front of the bathroom mirror. It seemed as though he had waited lifetimes for this moment and was now slightly afraid of the reality vs. the fantasties he'd always had. Ryuuichi had seemed just as nervous to cross this threshold as well, which had been a surprise for him.  
  
He knew from reading about Ryuuichi over the years that he didn't indulge in many casual affairs. He hoped that Ryuuchi didn't see him that way, but that couldn't be possible from the way he acted around him. Tatsuah had had one night stands before and they had always left him with a feeling of emptiness afterwards. He did not want that with Ryuuichi.  
  
Not wanting to dwell all night on the doubts that plaqued his mind, Tatsuha walked out into the dakened room where Ryuuichi was lying on the bed, smiling as he saw the teen. Motioning for Tatsuha to lie down beside him, Ryuuichi sat Kumagoro on the table beside them as his eyes met Tatsuha's.  
  
Tatsuha shivered, feeling Ryuuichi's appreciative glance breeze across his bare chest, shoulders and arms, taking in his slightly muscular frame and flat stomach. His hips were slightly less narrow than the singer's due to their height and weight difference. Tatsuha took that time to observe Ryuuichi as well, taking in the perfection of his body pf how the hotel towel seemed to mold itself to his concealed treasures.  
  
Ryuuichi made the first move bu reaching up to stroke his fingers through the back of Tatsuha's neck, smoothing his hand across his neck and down his shoulder blades. Tatsuha groaned to himself as he bent down to press his lips against Ryuuichi's, the older man parting his lips to encourage him to deepen the kiss furthur.  
  
Their tongues meeting inside each other's mouths, the two men came together in a passionate embrace. Ryuuichi moaned helplessly into Tatsuha's mouth as he clung to the younger man, his hands exploring Tatsuha's smooth back and covered backside. Tatsuha echoed his sentiment as he parted slightly from his idol to catch his breath.  
  
"Ryuuichi..." he whispered, as the singer held out the fabric piece he had been holding.  
  
"Tatsuha...I want you. I want you to help me to fullfill my fantasy." he whispered. 


	10. a confession

Disclaimer-Gravitation does not belong to me.  
  
Tears immediately sprang to Tatsuha's eyes as he heard the words he had longed to hear for six years. The man he loved more than anything wanted to be his lover, and there was no way he could ever refuse him. Ryuuichi's eyes widened as Tatsuha accepted his words, clasping the singer's hands together so that he could bind them with the satin fabric.  
  
Pushing Ryuuichi's bound hands behind his head, he helped the older man find a comfortable position on the bed as he plucked a piece of ice from the bucket beside them. Starting with Ryuuichi's lips, he rubbed the ice across them, bending down to warm the coldness of them with lingering licks of his tongue and finally the heated pressure of his mouth, taking possession of the singer's lips with his own.  
  
Ryuuichi returned the kiss in force, the pair coaxing a feverish response out of each other. Next, Tatsuha took the melting cube into his mouth to alternate the hot and cold feeling of Ryuuichi's very sensitive neck, playfully nipping right behind his ear and then tenderly kissing the offended area.  
  
As much as Ryuuichi seemed to be enjoying their romantic interlude, the sensations the teen caused were almost too much for him to bear. He had reasoned that Tatsuha would have a little experience in the bedroom, but he hadn't expected him to be so incredibly passionate, able to make him painfully erect with only a few deep tongue kisses.  
  
He whimpered, almost wishing he hadn't allowed Tatsuha to tie him up now, as the teen carressed the hard planes of his bare chest, sweeping his hands across his flat stomach, narrow hips and across the boundary of where his towel laid. He repeated his action with another piece of ice, making the older man cry out.  
  
"Tatsuha!" he cried, as the teen ran his tongue across his nipples, their bodies rocking against each other.  
  
By this time, he could tell that Tatsuha was as affected as he was, as he panted heavily against the older man's ear, reaching down to loosen his pants to make himself more comfortable.  
  
Ryuuichi arched his hips against Tatsuha's, seeking more friction to ease the overwhelming ache between his legs. He was completely helpless to the teen, who seemed content to torture his captive by pressing his body flush against the singer's and taking possession of his mouth in a fevered, urgent kiss.  
  
Their slight movements against each other loosened both Tatsuha's jeans and Ryuuichi's towel, Tatsuha breaking the kiss to move hi shand to the confines of Ryuuichi's last barrier.  
  
Tears sprang to Ryuuichi's eyes as he threw his head back with his eyes closed, encouraging Tatsuha as he ran his hand down Ryuuichi's hips and upper thighs, gasping himself when he reached his destination.  
  
Once again Tatsuha's imagination had not done Ryuuichi justice, the hard length of him responding to the teen's touch. Tatsuha almost hated to torture the older man with the remainder of the melted ice, but he knew if he did not, this experience would be over before it started.  
  
He saw Ryuuichi's eyes snap open as he climbed down off the bed just long enough to relieve himself of his jeans, allowing Ryuuichi to see all that he was offering.  
  
No words were needed between them as he rejoined his soon to be lover, groaning out loud as Ryuuichi moaned from their bodies moving against each other. Tatsuha was impressively endowed for such a young man, and he worried for a moment that the teen might be too much for him.  
  
Ryuuichi was not used to being the aggressor no matter how much he desired a lover, but the length of time it had been between lovers caused him a moment of apprehesion before he gave himself completely to the teen again.  
  
Ryuuichi had never felt so much pleasure and pain at once, desire eating away at his aching arousal as he longed for Tatsuha to chase the chill with his heated mouth. All thoughts flew out of his head as he got his wish, Tatsuha's tongue warming the tip of his arousal and down the shaft before taking him completely into his mouth.  
  
"Tatsuha..." he choked out, crying out in pleasure as the teen pleasured him with that wickedly sinful mouth of his.  
  
Bringing the singer right to the brink of his most ardent pleasure, Tatsuha rose to claim Ryuuichi's lips again, Ryuuichi raising his bound arms to rest them around Tatsuha's shoulders.  
  
"Gods...that was incredible...I've never had anyone make me feel this way before." Ryuuichi told him, his body still aching in search of completion.  
  
Tatsuha smiled, burying his head against the neck of the one he loved. "I know exactly what you mean. I feel the same way. You can't possibly know how much. I love you, Ryuuichi." Tatsuha whispered.  
  
Ryuuichi stared at him wide eyed for a moment. "Tatsuha...did you say that you loved me?" he asked him.  
  
Tatsuha smiled. "Yes, yes, of course I did! I love you very much, Ryuuichi, with everything that I am." he told him.  
  
This time Ryuuichi couldn't stop the tears that flowed down his face, confused and frightened by the teen's confession. "No...you cannot love me. You can't...please Tatsuha, please untie me." he whispered.  
  
Tatsuha looked down at the distraught vocalist, smoothing his hair away from his face out of concern. "Ryuuichi, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. I promise. I'll untie you if that's what you want." he told him.  
  
Ryuuichi nodded, closing his eyes so he wouldn't have to meet the teen's confused gaze as he undid the fastenings at his wrists. Tatsuha leaned back, allowing Ryuuichi to get up out of bed to pull on a pair of jeans.  
  
"Please Tatsuha, I hope you can forgive me for tonight, for robbing you of what you've waited for for so long. I'm sorry." Ryuuichi whispered.  
  
Tatsuha came up behind him and embraced him. "You don't have to apolgize. Don't ever apolgize for something you and I share together, please." he said softly.  
  
"I'm going to visit the others for a little while, okay? Please get some rest while I'm gone." Ryuuichi told him.  
  
Tatsuha stared at Ryuuichi out of concern and confusion for a moment before accepting his idol's request. "Okay." he said.  
  
Ryuuichi managed a weak smile, tenderly kissing the younger man's cheek. "Thank you." he said, closing the door behind him as he left.  
  
Climbing back onto the bed he had recently shared with his idol, Tatsuha blinked back the tears that threatened to stain his face, trying to make sense of what had happened. He knew it had something to do with the fact that he had confessed his feelings for him and he couldn't understand why this would cause Ryuuichi to react the way he had. Perhaps he had been too hasty in doing so, but he had been overwhelmed with emotion for his idol that it couldn't be helped.  
  
He couldn't even imagine that he had the only one that had felt their strong emotional connection and perhaps that was what had frightened Ryuuichi the most. Tatsuha's heart ached from the thought that he had hurt the one he loved most, even as he knew the older man needed time alone to sort out these feelings for himself.  
  
Collasping against the hotel wall in tears, Ryuuichi hid his face from those that might come across him in the hallway. This was the reason he had never gotten emotionally involved with a lover, because he knew he would eventually meet someone that he wanted to love in return.  
  
As much as he cared about the young man that been hired as his bodyguard, he could not allow himself to love Tatsuha in return, the reality of that conclusion slicing through his damaged heart.  
  
The last time he had loved someone he had gotten his heart crushed beyond repair and had never fully recovered since. He had trusted his lover and loved him with every breath in his body before the one he had loved had not even given him a chance to achieve closure.  
  
It was better this way for him and Tatsuha. Once he gained a level head about the situation, he would return to their room and explain to the teen that they could not continue on the way they had been.  
  
Thinking about that eventuality made his tears come back in force, not wanting to hurt Tatsuha the way he had been. "Gods...what am I going to do now?" he wailed.  
  
"Well, you can get off the flithy floor for starters." Noriko said, standing over him with her hands on her hips.  
  
"Noriko-chan! What are you doing up so late?" he asked her.  
  
She narrowed her eyes at him. "As if anybody could get any sleep with you crying out here. You should just be glad that you didn't wake up Touma and Mika. You know how tempermental Touma is." Noriko told him.  
  
Ryuuichi nodded. "Yes. I'm well aware. I'm sorry I disturbed you. I just needed to get some fresh air for a minute." he said.  
  
"Isn't that boy Tatsuha supposed to be with you then? That's not what you're upset about, is it? Or is it something or someone else entirely?" she asked him.  
  
Ryuuichi glared at her, rising to his feet. "I just had something in my eye, that's all. I'm going back to bed now." he told her.  
  
Noriko turned on him then. "That's a load of shit and you know it, Ryuuichi! It's not fair of you to punish that poor teenaged boy just because you never made peace with your past with Touma." she told him.  
  
"Give it a rest, Noriko-chan. This is my problem and I'll handle it as I see fit. I would never intentionally hurt Tatsuha. That's the last thing I want to do." he told her.  
  
Noriko sighed as Ryuuichi walked away to return to his room. As close as a bond as the two of them had, she would never understand why Ryuuichi could push so many potiental soulmates away out of his fear of getting close. Tatsuha was fifferent from all the others, and somehow she knew that Ryuuichi knew that too.  
  
The next month went by like clockwork for the members of Nittle Grasper and Ryuuichi's ever present bodyguard Tatsuha. The longest night of all had been the night Ryuuichi had returned to his hotel room, curling up against the warmth of the younger man's body.  
  
As much as his heart ached with regret, Tatsuha could never push the man he loved away, wrapping his arms around the older man's slumbering form. The next morning arrived with Ryuuichi nowhere to be found, having left for the studio with Noriko and Touma by himself. He left a specially made breakfast behind for the teen along with a handwritten note for him to take some time to himself. An accompanying letter from Touma confirmed this, and Tatsuha decided to take the time to run errands for himself and to cash the check Touma had left behind for him.  
  
The check was considerably more than he had thought it would be, Touma's way of thanking Tatsuha for dealing with their difficult vocalist.  
  
Tatsuha thought about what options he had to exercise during this unexpected break from his summer job. He could go back and visit his brother Eiri, who he was sure would be thrilled to see him, or take some time back with is family in Kyoto.  
  
They would probably just put him back to work performing rituals or having to avoid the efforts of past lovers to reconnect with him. He ven thought about spending some time hanging out with the members of Bad Luck.  
  
Would it be such a bad thing to share his body with someone he had been with before back in Kyoto, he wondered. After being in Ryuuichi's arms and sharing what they had shared, he knew that this was impossible. There was no one else he wanted anymore except for the one he couldn't have.  
  
Nothing had changed; his idol was just a product of his fantasties as he had always been, only now he had gotten a taste of what it was like to love such a man, to share the overwhelming passion that had made Ryuuichi have to push him away. He could not allow his pain to take control of his feelings for the singer, the only thing he had left to hold on to. He decided that he would go on a ride on his motorcycle until his head cleared. 


	11. Ryuuichi confronts Touma

Disclaimer-Gravitation does not belong to me. Author's note-Just a small part here to whet your appetite. didn't want to leave you hanging too long! Will write more very soon! Thanks!  
  
"What is wrong with you today, Ryuuichi? I've never seen you so distracted before." Noriko said to him.  
  
The dark haired vocalist turned on her. "Get off my back, will you? I only got distracted for a minute. Were any of the tracks I laid down affected just now, Touma?" he asked.  
  
Touma smiled. "No. Your singing was as steller as always, Ryuuichi. you never cease to amaze me." he said.  
  
Noriko rolled her eyes. "You two need to get a room. You make me sick. I'm going to take fifteen before I heave." she told them.  
  
The two men sighed as she left, Ryuuichi sitting down, pulling off his headphones as Touma ran back the already recorded tracks they had set down that day.  
  
"You should have brought Tatsuha with you to the session. He would've enjoyed being the first to hear our newest songs." Touma said.  
  
Ryuuichi rubbed his temples in frustration. "Please...don't mention him, okay?" Ryuuichi asked.  
  
"I'm sorry. I guess that's a touchy subject. I did as you asked me too though, adding that little extra to his check from me." Touma said.  
  
Ryuuichi sighed. "I didn't actually think you would do that. That must have been like a slap in the face to him." Ryuuichi said regretfully.  
  
"He's young...he'll get over it. He'll just get a hardened heart like Eiri- san did. It's no big deal." Touma said.  
  
Ryuuichi narrowed his eyes at him. "And I wish you wouldn't mention Eiri-san around me either! You know, I was thinking of rerecording our song White Butterflies for this CD. What do you think?" he asked.  
  
Touma smiled. "I think that would be a great idea. I remember how special that song was for both of us." Touma sighed.  
  
Ryuuchi shook his head. "You know, I don't believe that for a second. It never meant as much to you as it did to me. I wrote that song specially because you were so busy persuing Eiri-san and being persuied by Mika-san that you completely forgot what you and I shared." Ryuuichi said.  
  
Touma stared at his badmate and closest friend for the longest time before speaking again. "This is the reason you pushed Tatsuha away? Because you've never been able to make peace with our past, Ryuuichi? that's not fair to me, to you, to Tatsuha, or anyone else for that matter." Touma said.  
  
Ryuuichi turned on him. "You're the one to talk about not being fair! I realize that it's many years now since then, but you have to understand, Touma...you were the first person I ever loved and allowed close to me, and you pushed me completely out of your life the day you disbanded Nittle Grasper." Ryuuichi said.  
  
"No. I understand completely, more than you realize. Time could never heal the wounds that I caused you the day I said goodbye. I never stopped loving you in my heart, Ryuuichi. You were my best friend long before Eiri-san ever was and you will always be a part of me. I never intended to cause you any pain." Touma told him.  
  
Ryuuichi threw himself into his best friend's arms, the two men sharing a warm embrace that had been many years coming. Touma's eyes were tender and soft towards his badmate as they parted, laughing softly between their stifled tears.  
  
"Please Ryuuichi, don't let our failed romance come between what you and Tatsuha could have together. How do you feel about him really?" Touma asked.  
  
"I know I don't want to lose him...I love him." Ryuuichi admitted.  
  
"Then let's call this a day. Go and find him before it's too late." he told him.  
  
Ryuuichi embraced Touma again out of his gratitude as he left to return to the hotel. 


	12. closure

Disclaimer-Gravitation does not belong to me.  
  
The last thing Tatsuha wanted to think about as he rode his motorcycle to parts unknown was what happened between him and Ryuuichi. His confession had been entirely too hasty for the conflicted singer to accept, and he should have considered that before saying it. I should just be grateful that my honey Ryuuichi returned my feelings at all, he thought.  
  
So why wasn't that good enough, he wondered. He was sure it had something to do with the connection he felt with the older man when they were together, how Ryuuichi wanted so desperately to allow him close even as damaged emotionally as he was.  
  
It almost reminded him of the dynamics of his brother's past relationship with Shuichi, how his brother had kept the energetic singer at arm's length to avoid facing his own past before finally making peace with it.  
  
It seemed like and his siblings were just gluttons for punishment in the romance department. Yuki had been promiscuous for years to hide his own insecurities before getting involved with Shuichi, his demeanor as cool and distant as it had always been despite attempting to open his heart once it was too late.  
  
He wasn't privvy to all the details of his sister's Mika and Touma's courtship, but he knew that she had been very conflicted over whether she had made the right choice in falling in love with the blonde musician.  
  
It was like their family was somehow cursed with bad judgement, not knowing when to pull away emotionally from those they loved. Even though Yuki had survived his and Shuichi's breakup and Mika had eventually married the man she loved, Tatsuha just couldn't see himself overcoming the odds to get what he really wanted.  
  
As much as he desperately wanted to, there was just no way that he could go back to loving Ryuuichi as just an unachievable fantasy. He vowed for the rest of the summer that he would follow his sister's example, to prove to Ryuuichi that he was committed to him body, mind and soul, lovers or otherwise...  
  
Not surprised to find his hotel room dark and empty once he returned, Ryuuichi decided to run himself a hot bath while he cuddled Kumagoro for comfort. The small pink bunny was a poor substitute for the embrace of the teen that had stolen his heart. Somehow, though, by holding his small captive close, he came up with an idea to make up to Tatsuha for his behavior.  
  
Searching through the heavy wooden dresser, he pulled out a pair of tailored black pants and a black satin short sleeve button down shirt. It was an outfit he rarely wore because it betrayed his true age, but it fit what he was planning.  
  
Scrawling down a quick note to Tatsuha, he left it where the teen would easily find it, and undressed to indulge in a hot soak before dressing for the night ahead. Brushing a kiss across the cheek of his beloved pet, Ryuuichi smiled.  
  
'Wish me luck, Kumagoro." he told him.  
  
After his abrupt departure the night they were together last, Ryuuichi wouldn't blame the teen if he never returned, but he hoped for both their sakes that he did.  
  
The quiet of the hotel room was almost deafening as Tatsuha returned to the room that he and Ryuuichi shared, his thoughts only of collapsing on the hotel bed and forgetting that the last month had even ever happened. This would allow him to make a fresh start, to concentrate on doing his job to the best of his ability while creating a stronger bond with his idol.  
  
What he didn't expect was a note left behind by the man in question, the room awash in the sweet smell of Ryuuichi's signature scent, that honeysuckle and musk. He fought his body's betrayal to this so he could read the letter without getting distracted.  
  
Tatsuha- I would like to invite you to have dinner with me at the Luna Cove tonight. I have reservations in both our names so whenever you see fir to show up is fine. I'll be waiting until then. Ryuuichi  
  
An invitation for dinner, Tatsuha thought. He had heard of the Luna Cove before. It was one of the most exclusive seafood restaurants in the city, a place where only the most elite could afford their decadent dishes.  
  
Tatsuha knew to accept meant that he would have to dress accordingly and he didn't really own anything that dressy. He wondered if his brother Eiri would be opposed to letting him borrow something, their height and build nearly the same.  
  
He really hated to ask his older brother for anything, but if this invitation led to more for him and Ryuuichi together, than his short jaunt there would be like an investment in his future.  
  
It was somehow comforting to visit his older brother that evening in search of his taste in clothing even as he was surprised upon arriving to find Hiroshi, the guitarist for Bad Luck, leaning with his arms crossed against his motorcycle parked in front of Yuki's home.  
  
"Hiro! What are you doing here?" he asked him.  
  
"I brought Shuichi here to meet with Yuki. He asked Shuichi to meet with him tonight for some reason and he asked me to wait for him. What are you doing here?" Hiro asked him.  
  
"I came to see if Eiri-san would let me borrow some clothes so I could meet Ryuuichi downtown." Tatsuha said.  
  
"I'm sure that won't be a problem once he and Shuichi finish whatever he asked him here to discuss." Hiro said.  
  
"You don't think my brother might be trying to reconcile with him, do you?" Tatsuha asked.  
  
"I thought about it, but I trust Shuichi completely. As much as he still cares about Yuki, I know where his heart truly lies." Hiro said.  
  
Tatsuha wished he could be that confident about what he and Ryuuichi had together as he rested on the steps close by to keep Hiroshi company.  
  
Yuki's heart ached as he looked down into the tormented eyes of his ex- lover who had come to see him when he asked him to do so, the chemistry between them just as potent as it had always been. He had listened to Shuichi confess that he had been there the night Yuki had decided to go home to Japan, but Hiro had found him instead.  
  
"It was like fate chose to be together, Yuki. I love Hiroshi with every breath in my body. He completes me in ways you and I never could. I'm sorry, Yuki. I really am." Shuichi told him.  
  
Yuki moved closer to him, trapping him in a corner of the room, reaching down to wipe away the tears that spilled from the teen's eyes.  
  
"I understand. Believe me, I understand more than you know. The only part of this whole thing that has ever weighed heavily on me was that you and I never achieved closure. How do you feel about that, Shuichi?" Yuki asked him.  
  
Shuichi closed his eyes to the feeling of Yuki's palm against his face, his tears soaking his ex-lover's pale skin. "Yes. Yes, I have. I understand completely how you feel, Yuki." he told him.  
  
Closing the space between them, Shuichi allowed Yuki to weave his fingers into his shaggy red hair to slant his mouth over his in a deep, passionate kiss. they echoed each other's moans as they plundered each other's mouths, Shuichi clinging desperately to the blonde writer with his arms around his waist. Parting from each other, Yuki nuzzled the singer's neck for a moment as they embraced tightly.  
  
"Thank you, Shuichi." he told him.  
  
Shuichi managed to smile up at him through his tears. "You're welcome, Yuki." he said.  
  
Parting from his ex-lover to join Hiroshi outside, Hiro rushed to his best friend's side to comfort him, the two men clinging to each other in the darkness.  
  
"It'll be okay, Shindou-san. I promise it will." Hiro assured him.  
  
Shuichi nodded, understanding completely, smiling as he realized that Tatsuha had been there the whole time.  
  
"Good evening, Tatsuha." he said, squeezing Hiro's hand in his.  
  
Tatsuha smiled. "Please don't let me keep the two of you. I'm not going to be here long myself." he said.  
  
Shuichi looked up at him. "If this has something to do with Ryuuichi, whatever it is, you know Hiro and I wish you only the best." Shuichi said.  
  
Hiro smiled. "Yes. That's right." he agreed.  
  
"Thanks. I appreciate that. I'm sure we'll see each other again soon." Tatsuha said, leaving the pair alone together.  
  
The sound of Hiro's departing motorcycle was one of the many faint noises he heard as he turned the key in Yuki's door to unlock it.  
  
"What are you doing here at this time of night without letting me know you were coming first?" Yuki asked him, arms crossed in front of him on the couch.  
  
Tatsuha sighed. "I know you hate it when I arrive unannounced, but I came to see if I could borrow some clothes from you to wear to meet Ryuuichi downtown tonight." he told him.  
  
Yuki cocked an eyebrow at him. "This must be important if you're not willing to settle on your regular clothes. I guess we could look and see if I have something that might fit you." Yuki said.  
  
"That's the least you could do since I lent you some robes to wear when you visited Kyoto last." Tatsuha chided him.  
  
Yuki narrowed his eyes at him. "Don't push it. You're just lucky I'm in a good mood tonight. Take whatever you want, but you'll be responsible for dry cleaning if anything gets dirty." Yuki told him.  
  
After a short search, Tatsuha settled on a pair of black dress pants to wear over his black boots and a short sleeve button down purple dress shirt.  
  
"That's a big difference. You almost look like an adult now." Yuki told him with a grin.  
  
Tatsuha frowned at him, smoothing down his unruly mop of dark hair in front of Yuki's bedroom mirror. "You never change, do you?" he asked.  
  
Yuki chuckled. "I'd hate to disappoint. Good luck out there tonight. I hope you have better luck than I did." he said.  
  
Tatsuha smiled at the slight change his short meeting with Shuichi had made in him. "Thank you, Eiri-san." he said.  
  
Luck had nothing to do with what he and Ryuuichi had together. Whatever was meant to happen between him and the object of affection would happen, and he would accept that, good, bad or otherwise... 


	13. shared emotions

Disclaimer-Gravitation does not belong to me. Author's note-This chapter is the second to the last one. I have not yet finished the last part of this story on paper, so I promise to post it as soon as it's ready. On with the story!  
  
Ryuuichi knew now for sure that he was in love. He had only once came out in public in such a high profile destination with Touma, and even then they had been mobbed by fans. He didn't care then and didn't care now. He wanted to be seen with Tatsuha, to show him that they didn't always need the costumes to go out.  
  
The waiters there, upon recognizing him, were more than happy to seat him in the most private area of the resturant, a darkened little alcove on the covered patio overlooking Tokyo Bay.  
  
Ryuuichi sighed as he watched the moonlight dance over the calm waters, reminding him of the depth of Tatsuha's gaze. If he had been entranced by the peaceful calm of the rippling waves, then he could have never been prepared for the sight of his teenage bodyguard arriving to meet with him.  
  
He fought to catch his breath as he stared at the well dressed young man, utterly gorgeous in black dress pants and purple button down short sleeve shirt. He lloks even dressed up than he does in his normal clothes, Ryuuichi thought, and just as comfortable in either.  
  
It seemed as though the teen carried himself with confidence, him wearing the clothes instead of them wearing him. His eyes widened when he saw Ryuuichi stand to greet him, dressed immaculately in all black with his usual scent of honeysuckle and musk wafting about him.  
  
"Hello Tatsuha." Ryuuchi said.  
  
"Good evening, Ryuuichi. I'm surprised you would come here all by yourself. I am supposed to be your bodyguard, after all." Tatsuha said.  
  
"Why don't we sit down? I didn't bring you here as my bodyguard, Tatsuha. I thought it would be nice to take a night off from your duties. You deserve it after everything you've done for me." Ryuuchi said.  
  
"I don't know what to say." Tatsuha said.  
  
"You don't have to say anything. The fact that you came tonight is good enough for me. Order whatever you like." Ryuuichi said.  
  
Browsing the menu, Tatsuha found that he had way too many choices to be able to make up his mind and allowed Ryuuichi to order for them. The vocalist special ordered a meal for two, a generous plate of angel hair pasta with steamed scallops in white wine sauce.  
  
How could he have possibly known that steamed scallops were my weakness, Tatsuha wondered. He had always savored their midly fishy, salty taste and especially liked them dipped in butter, like Ryuuichi seemed content to do in front of him.  
  
He watched Ryuuichi intently as he licked the butter from the morsel of meat, rolling it across his tongue before taking it completely into his mouth. Tatsuha groaned under his breath at his action, his bodt tightening in response.  
  
Taking a swallow of his pasta, he offered a forkful to Ryuuchi, who accepted eagerly. The two men shared a smile between them as they finished their meal, their connection as strong as always.  
  
Opting to walk along the waterfront, Tatsuha and Ryuuchi decided to check out a nightclub that seemed popular in the area. The bouncers there did not put up a fight about Tatsuha's age as they welcomed Ryuuchi with open arms, the music in the club a rousing dance beat of remix techo and freestyle.  
  
Another thing Ryuuichi and I have in common, Tatsuha thought. That had been what had drawn the teen to Nittle Grasper's music to begin with, that their music was unconventional and different, that it could make you dance as easily as it could make you think.  
  
After meeting Ryuuichi and Noriko and from knowing Touma, he now understood the soul of what made Nittle Grasper so awesome was the passion that the trio exhibited within themselves and shared with others.  
  
He admired that now more than ever as Ryuuichi dragged him out onto the dance floor with a laugh and a smile. Being with Ryuuichi when he was happy was like an addiction, one he never wanted to be rehabilitated for.  
  
As much as Tatsuha enjoyed dancing, he felt a little shy in public doing so, unlike his companion. People couldn't help but stare at Ryuuichi as he lost himself in the rhythm as if it were a part of him. Spinning discs in the booth over them, the house deejay's eyes widened as he scanned the dance floor and saw that he had a famous face in the crowd.  
  
"Hey you ladies and gentlemen out there! How are all of you tonight? I hope that you will help me to welcome a special guest with us tonight on the dance floor, Ryuuichi Sakuma of Nittle Grasper!" the deejay shouted.  
  
Surprised gasps and loud applause filled the dance floor as Ryuuichi waved happily to his audience, asking Tatsuha to assist him to the deejay's booth.  
  
"Sakuma-san, what an honor it is to have you with us at the Pelican Club tonight. So tell us, is it true that you're in the process of recording a new CD in the studio? What kinds of songs can we expect from this new CD?" the deejay asked.  
  
Ryuuichi smiled. "I'm glad you asked me that, because all the rumors you've heard are true. As a matter of fact, I'd really like all of you to be the first to hear the return of one of your favorites on this disc by performing it myself live tonight." he told the audience.  
  
Tatsuha's eyes widened as the audience roared. Was Ryuuichi serious, he wondered. Before he had a chance to ponder this furthur, the house band, who had been on break, eagerly set up a makeshift stage for the veteran artist, taking their places onstage.  
  
"I'd like to dedicate this song to a very dear driend of mine, someone I have just gotten to know recently but has already made an impact on my life. This song is for you." Ryuuichi said.  
  
As the band launched into the song Ryuuichi was to perform, Tatsuha knew exactly which it was, despite the slight changes to the way it was played to make it more modern. It was just like another one of his fantasties, the one where Ryuuichi sang his most passionate song to him alone.  
  
"Oh, the touch of your hands on my sensitive skin gets my attention everytime. Don't try to fool me into thinking you know not what you do. you must know how much I desire you...When I look into your eyes, I just know you want me too... Oh, don't let our love flutter away like so many white butterflies...my heart and soul would never recover, even if it is true that you don't really love me after all..." Ryuuichi sang.  
  
Tears stung Tatsuha's eyes as he heard Ryuuichi sing the song that had anchored his heart forevermore to the older man, realizing that he was indeed the one Ryuuichi was dedicating the song to. Did this mean Ryuuichi thought that Tatsuha would end up walking away from his duties because of their short seperation or was it because that song was so meaningful to the both of them?  
  
He had too many questions and too few answers as the song ended, his own applause overshadowing the rest of the crowd. Leaving the stage after greeting many of his fans, Ryuuichi returned to Tatsuha's side as they made their way outside to leave.  
  
Silent on their way back to the hotel, Tatsuha felt a very strong sense of deja vu as he and Ryuuichi got onto the elevator together. He jumped slightly as Ryuuichi suddenly launched himself into the teen's arms.  
  
"Thank you for tonight, Tatsuha. I wasn't sure you would show up." Ryuuichi told him.  
  
"I'm not angry about what happened between us. I care about you too much to allow that to happen. I made a promise to you and I intend to keep it." Tatsuha said.  
  
"What did you think of my rendition of White Butterflies tonight?" he asked him.  
  
"It was wonderful, as heartwretching as always. I can't imagine what kind of pain you went through to write a song like that." Tatsuha said.  
  
Ryuuichi let his arms fall to his sides then. "Yes. you're right. That song was influenced by a painful period in my life, but it was also my way of singing a love song to my unrequited love. I lost the person that I orginally wrote the song for, but I definitely don't want to lose the one that I think about when I sing it now." Ryuuichi said.  
  
Tatsuha stared at him then. ""Ryuuichi...what are you trying to say?" he asked him.  
  
The older man's tear stained eyes meet his bodyguard's. "I'm trying to say that i'm sorry, Tatsuha. I'm sorry if I hurt you by interrupted our intimacy that night with my own insecurities and then trying to avoid you so I could get my head on straight. The last thing I would ever want to do is to hurt you, Tatsuha...I love you." Ryuuichi told him.  
  
"Ryuuichi...did you say that you loved me?" he asked the singer.  
  
"Yes. I became afraid that night we were together when you said those words because the last person who had told me that had been my first love. I had never let anyone close to me since then and when you told me...I was at a loss at how to feel, what to say. It was easier to run away than face those words, the ones that had caused me so much pain before. But when I realized how much I shared your feelings and needed you as much as you needed me, I knew that I loved you too. I don't want to lose you, Tatsuha! I love you!" he told him.  
  
This time, it was Tatsuha who caught the vocalist in a crushing embrace.  
  
"Oh Ryuuichi...you don't owe me an explanatiom. I shouldn't have pushed you before you were ready. I promise to make it up to you for as long as you'll have me. I've never loved anyone but you, my honey Ryuuichi." Tatsuha said.  
  
There was no hesitation this time from either of them as they came together to share a deep, meaningful kiss. All the feelings the pair had for each other poured out throught he movements of their lips against each other's, their arms reaching out to pull each other close.  
  
"Tatsuha, I want to finish what we started that night, only...I want to be the one who gives you pleasure instead." Ryuuichi told the teen.  
  
And there was that nagging problem again, the one that seemed to be inflicting itself on Tatsuha since he had first inhaled that honeysuckle and musk scent on his idol the day they had gone to the zoo. The difference was that now, now only was his body at full attention, but the feelings in his heart and soul were returned by the one he loved.  
  
"There's nothing I'd like more than for you to make love to me, Ryuuichi." he told him, confirming his words with a passionate kiss of his own.  
  
Feeling as though he had waited lifetimes for this kiss, Ryuuichi threw his arms around Tatsuha's neck and returned the kiss with everythign he had.  
  
They echoed each other's moans as Ryuuichi pressed Tatsuha against the elevator wall, slanting his mouth against the teen's for a forceful, demanding kiss. Tatsuha groaned and responded immediately, feeling as though he was finally recieving what Ryuuichi had been holding back all this time.  
  
"Ryuuichi..." Tatsuha whispered as they parted.  
  
Ryuuichi smiled as he feathered his fingers against Tatsuha's wrist and brought it down agaisnt his covered arousal. Tatsuha smiled. "I think you may have a thing for elevators. Ryuiichi." he teased him.  
  
Ryuuichi smiled as he embraced the teen. "No. The only thing I have a thing for is you, Tatsuha Usegi." he told him.  
  
Tatsuha smiled as he returned his embrace. "My honey Ryuuichi." he said.  
  
Stepping out of the elevator hand in hand, Tatsuha and Ryuuichi made their way to their hotel room together, no doubts in their mind about what was about to happen.  
  
He and Ryuuichi were in love with each other, and Tatsuha was about to fullfill the one fantasy that had never gone away, the one where he and the singer had pledged their undying devotion to each other, sealing the deal with a night of passionate lovemaking.  
  
Turning on the light in the bathroom and leaving the door cracked open to provide them with some light, Ryuuichi walked up to Tatsuha with a smile. Reaching out to rest his hands on Tatsuha's chest, he unbuttoned the handsome purple shirt to the waist, exploring Tatsuha's bare chest with his hands, following his hands' trail with his mouth. Breezing across the teen's flat nipples, he nipped each one in turn and licked the injured area, smiling up at Tatsuha's sharp gasp.  
  
"I like the way you taste, Tatsuha. Much better than frosting any day." he told him.  
  
"I like that too...you're about to make my knees go weak." Tatsuha moaned.  
  
Ryuuichi smiled. "I haven't even gotten started yet." he told him. 


	14. togetherness

Disclaimer-Gravitation does not belong to me. Author's note-A last note to thank all my reviewers for their very wonderful reviews and to let everyone know about the prequel to this story coming soon called Standing By The Bay about how Shuichi ended up with Hiroshi instead of Yuki. Thanks again!  
  
Meeting Tatsuha's eyes with a smile, Ryuuichi decided to do a slow striptease for the teen, unbuttoning his shirt slowly and parting the fabric at half that speed. Tatsuha's reaction was very noticeable as Ryuuichi continued, stroking his hands across his lean chest, flat stomach and unbuttoning the button of his pants.  
  
Falling to his knees to face Tatsuha, who had sat on the bed watching him, Ryuuichi leaned in to ease Tatsuha's shirt the rest of the way off, pinning his hands behind him as he claimed Tatsuha's mouth in a deep, open mouth tongue kiss.  
  
He allowed Tatsuha to embrace for a moment, as the teen loosened Ryuuichi's pants furthur, grasping the singer's backside in his hands.  
  
"Mmm...Ryuuichi..." Tatsuha moaned helplessly, as he threw his head with his eyes closed as Ryuuichi buried his head against Tatsuha's neck.  
  
Pushing him back against the mattress, Ryuuichi met Tatsuha's eyes with a smile, allowing them to catch their breath as he sat down betweent he teen's thighs. Arching up his hips to accomodate him, Ryuuichi slowly eased Tatsuha's pants down off his hips, his eyes taking in what he had taken into hand at Yuki's home not too long before.  
  
"Perhaps there was a reason I forgot dessert with dinner...because I hunger desperately for you tonight, Tatsuha." Ryuuichi told him.  
  
Tatsuha choked on his response, his eyes rolling back into his head as he shuddered from the feeling of Ryuuichi's wet tongue and lips carressing his very sensitive arousal, taking his time to taste very inch of him before taking him deep within his mouth.  
  
The combination of the pressure of Ryuuichi's lips and his tongue trailing the length of him at the same time that Ryuuichi's long fingers explored other interesting areas was just about about enough to make him come undone.  
  
Tatsuha panted to catch his breath as Ryuuichi ended his sweet torture momentarily. He watched Ryuuichi with an appreciative gaze as he finished undressing for the teen, returning to his lover's embrace on the bed.  
  
Arching his body against his young lover's, Ryuuichi took pleasure from the heat that poured off both of them in waves. Brushing Ryuuichi's hair away from the side of his face, Tatsuha affectionately nuzzled Ryuuichi's throat as the singer distracted himself by sliding his hands down Tatsuha's smooth back.  
  
Tatsuha groaned into Ryuuichi's ear as his hands slid down the roundness of the teen's backside, making Tatsuha arch roughly against him with a loud cry. Ryuuichi groaned from the sensation of Tatsuha's short nails digging into his spine, increasing his desire even more. Reaching between them to stroke the teen's aching arousal with a firm grasp, he reviled in Tatsuha's heated reaction.  
  
"Tatsuha..." he whispered seductively into the teen's ear.  
  
Easing his lover onto his stomach, Ryuuichi could find no better lubrication than the wetness left behind by his own mouth and tongue, his own arousal trembling with need as Tatsuha gripped the blankets beneath him.  
  
Pressing a kiss to the nape of Tatsuha's neck, Ryuuichi assisted the teen to his knees as Tatsuha allowed Ryuuichi to prepare him for what they both wanted. Even though he had been in this position a few times before, it felt like the first time all over again as Ryuuichi slowly penetrated him from behind, the pair echoing each other's moans as he buried himself completely inside the teen.  
  
"Ryuuichi!" Tatsuha moaned out loud, as the singer thrust deep inside him, causing a twin sensation as he reached around with a firm grasp to stroke the teen in time to his hips' movements.  
  
Tatsuha could barely hear his own wretched moans over the ones of his very capable lover, who was casing him to come closer and closer to the edge with every passing second.  
  
Sensing this, Ryuuichi slowed his movements as he allowed Tatsuha to roll over onto his back so he could catch his breath.  
  
"You feel incredible, Tatsuha...I love you so much." Ryuuichi told him.  
  
"I love you more than you know, Ryuuichi." Tatsuha told him with a smile.  
  
Ryuuichi returned his smile, leaning down to press a kiss on the inside of Tatsuha's upper thigh before resuming his mouth's assault on the teen's hard arousal.  
  
"Ryuuichi..." Tatsuha choked out, knowing how close he was to losing himself to the sensation of Ryuuichi's mouth and tongue around him.  
  
Ryuuichi parted from the teen almost as quickly as he had started, his eyes meeting Tatsuha's with a smile.  
  
"I want you to take me, Tatsuha. I want you to make me yours..." Ryuuichi told him.  
  
Tatsuha complied swiftly with Ryuuichi's request, making them both cry out in pleasure, Tatsuha from the tight depth of his beloved beneath him, Ryuuichi from the urgent strokes of Tatsuha's hand around the length of him.  
  
Tatsuha was convinced that his and Ryuuichi's loud groans of both pain and pleasure could be heard by everyone in the hotel as they finally found completion at the same time. Coming together in a fierce embrace, their affection for each other reminded Tatsuha of a beautiful melody created with only each other in mind.  
  
THE END 


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